Halo
by XxBella-Marie-SwanxX
Summary: bella moves in with charlie after something horrable happens with renee. she hates men and dosent trust anyone. will edward be diffrent? can he fix her? ANYONE AGAINST ABUSE DONT READ! Rated M for language and lemons! good and bad!
1. The reason, the blame, the trama

Halo – Beyonce

"Bella, I'm going to be home late tonight. So tell your Phil to make the two of you something for dinner." Renee said sounding a little distracted by her work.

"There's hamburger helper in the cupboard if you guys want that?" she added trying to be helpful in her absence. Renee was my crazy, erratic, hair-brained mother and I loved her to death, her new husband on the other hand not so much. He was the ' tall, dark, and handsome' man of her dreams. Too bad I knew more about him than she did. Phil and me spend a lot of time together when my moms out late. And every time she comes home I have a new scratch or bruise from my newest 'accident' (ok so I may be clumsy but _no one_ is that clumsy) but she was happy, so I couldn't get up the courage to take that away from her, not when she want so many years alone.

"Its ok mom, ill think of something." I said in my oh so famous mock cheer.

"Oh I know you will babe. I love you." She said getting ready to go.

"I love you too mom." I said before hanging up quickly. I really hope he gets hit by a transport truck on his way home tonight, I just wish I could be the one driving it.

"Renee!" a male voice called from the front door. Awe crap.

"What's for dinner hun?" he asked as he came into the kitchen.

"She's not home yet, she's going to be at work late tonight." I said nonchalantly. Even though I was scared out of my mind, I would never show him that.

"Oh." He said looking into my eyes. _Ah_ that man gives me the creeps!

"Well I'm going upstairs for a bit, call me when dinners ready." He said already turned toward the staircase. I called him when dinner was ready and we ate in silence. Once I had finished washing the dishes he cleared his throat. I turned toward him as I towelled off my hands.

"I bought something for your mother today. I would love to get your opinion on it." He said looking very honest and sincere in his choice of words. Too bad I know better. Too bad I also already know fighting it would just get _me_ hurt.

In his room the drapes were loose covering what little light could come in the windows. The lights were set dim and candles were lit on the side tables and dresser. As I walked into the room he lifted a bag onto the bed with the letters 'XXX' on it. As if that wasn't obvious at all. The thing he pulled out (which could definitely _not_ be called underwear) was red and was definitely lacking in the coverage department. The bottoms were a red thong that was only three strings and a bow in the front to cover all of nothing! Then for the top was a bra that looked like the centre had popped out. It was red and stringy. There were three strings that went around each breast to meet and pull together in the middle, and there was a small little bow held by more string in the centre to cover only the nipple. It was the most embarrassing thing just to _look_ at forget wearing.

" I would love to get an idea of what it will look like on your mother," he said lying them down on the bed between us. I picked them up without a word and walked into the master bathroom. Once it was on I looked in the mirror. My chest was popping out of it so much that you couldn't even see the string then went around underneath my breasts. The thong was literally all string that was not at all comfortable rubbing up in my centre. The stupid little bow on the front looked like it wanted to cover at least something but of course didn't. Tears started to pool in my eyes, as I got ready to leave the room. Stop crying I commanded myself before I left the room. Do _not_ let him see you cry. I got a hold of my self and opened the door.

He was lying in front of me on the bed. He was lying there with red silk boxers on, starring at me with appraising eyes. He's arms flexed as he crossed them on his chest, which was also well built for a guy his age. If I didn't absolutely hate him with every inch of my being, I would be able to say he was attractive. But I did hate him, so no part of his looks or voice or sent attracted me. It all made me want to run and cry to my mom, but I couldn't.

"Well I guess I picked a good one huh?" he said with a smirk.

"I think your mom will like it. It's a new idea I'm going for. I'm thinking for Valentines Day her and me will try a new way of fun." His smirk got bigger as he spoke.

"Take a look in the bag and tell me what you think." He said pointing with his eyes to the bag that was beside him. I walked around the bed and reached for the bag.

"Come on babe, take a load off. Sit down and relax." He said pulling my wrist making me lye beside him on the bed. He started to lick and bite my ear while I looked into the bag. What the _fuck_!!! In the bag there was hand and leg cuffs, a blindfold, a vibrator, and a thousand different kinds of lube. EW.

"What do you think babe?" he whispered in my ear. His hand was brushing against my thigh while he was kissing and sucking my neck, careful not to leave a mark.

"I think mom will love it." I said in a monotone voice that didn't sound like me at all. If there is a god out there, or any kind of all knowing being please let them act now in _killing_ this man before he makes any more of this happen.

"Do you mind helping me out with it? I want it to be perfect for your mom." He said in a seductive voice that would be totally hot and sexy to any other ears but mine.

"Please, its for your mom. You want what's best for her don't you?" he asked almost accusing me of hurting her. What the hell was wrong with this guy?

"Ill help." I said in a small voice. I was trying so hard to not cringe away as his lips caressed my neck but my body did not have the same thoughts as I did. I could feel my centre starting to tingle and my nipples were slightly harder. He got of the bed and moved me into the centre. He quickly and roughly cuffed my arms and legs to the four bedposts and put the blindfold over my eyes. I felt cold metal touch my hips as he cut away the thong (for my mom… right). I felt his fingers touch my centre with a smooth silky liquid. It instantly started to heat up while he rubbed it along my clit. My back arched slightly as he touched me. I heard something start to vibrate which obviously meant he had turned on the vibrator. He pushed it hard and quickly. He hadn't stopped to let me adjust to the size of it, which was way too big, I held in tears as he pounded me with it for the first couple times. Then once I was used to it was good, very good. My body started to rock along with it making it go deeper and deeper though I didn't think it could. I moaned so loudly that it even took me off guard. My back arched and I could feel my cum start to drip down my thigh and back. He took away the vibrator instantly and started licking up the mess I had made. I took my clit between his teeth and grazed on it, my body shook again in pleasure. My mind tried with all its might to avoid thinking about what was happening but my body was begging for more. He shoved his tongue inside of me and started moving it quickly in and out making me whimper. His hands were on my breasts massaging and pulling them. My nipples were hard and begging for attention while I internally screamed for my body to hate him as much as I did. His mouth then moved up to my nipples like he has heard them calling and started to suck and bite them violently. He sucked and bit every inch of my chest making the skin tingle where the blood came to the surface. I started to drip again which made him moan. Next think I knew I could feel his hot dick rubbing against my centre. A little moan escaped my lips as my fluids started flowing heavier. He jammed himself inside of me and started thrusting hard. I screamed a moan as he pushed himself as far as possible inside of me.

"Oh… Bella…" he moaned as a came on him which just made him move faster and harder. I could hear his nasty balls slapping my wet centre and ass. I could hear the bed hitting the wall which each thrust. He lifted me on an angle that made him able to hit the spot perfectly and I couldn't help myself. I moaned so loud as he beat the crap out of my centre.

" Oh… baby… I'm going to cum… cum for me baby…" he moaned and screamed as he rocked me harder and harder. He moved his had to rum by clit hard.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed as he rubbed and pounded me, then I came so hard I could feel it squirt out around his dick. With that he let out a loud moan and cam inside me. My eyes flicked open in shock. Fuck no! Fuck no! Fuck no!!! I cried in my head. He took off my blindfold and un-cuffed my legs. Once I he un-cuffed my wrists I asked if I could get changed again. Once I was he came over to me and tried to kiss me. As he came closer to me I did the stupidest, worst, most idiotic thing I've done in all my life. Now usually I'm not that stupid, however the rage that had been building up since he cam into me just spilled out. Getting mad over something that happened all the time was dumb, but this was different because this didn't happen all the time. He had talked my mom into putting me on the pill because he 'figured' that as a teen it was better than coming home knocked up. So I've been on the pill since all this has started. However, this month I _forgot_ to take it! Therefore meaning I might get _pregnant_. With the most hateful glare I could possibly come up with I slugged the guy square in the jaw. Once I saw recognition hit his face I realized how dumb I was and ran for it. I made it as far as the door before he caught my arm. I was on the edge of the staircase as he took a swing at me. I ducked just in time but I lost my balance and fell. He obviously let go on purpose and watched me roll down the stairs. Slowly the world went black as I felt something wet slither around my ear.


	2. Help Me?

Hey so sorry about this not being a chapter.

But I need input before I continue.

I need to know what can be improved because what I posted is only a rough copy.

I tried to do the editing myself.

But its hard when im the one who wrote it.

So I would LOVE some help 

Thanks so much!

BellaXxSwan


	3. i hate hospitals

PLEASE READ! --- Ok so first off thanks to all the readers as it's really inspiring,  second is that I totally forgot to do a disclaimer so as of the first chapter all characters are owned by Stephanie and Twilight unless I say otherwise. 

I _love_ feedback because its what makes my writing and stories better so **please** review and give some tips, and please be nice. Here's chapter two, enjoy everyone, and thanks again for everything.

_I walked out of the school doors and into the back path that would take me to my first period class. The cold wind whipped my hair across my face, and I could barely see the yard ahead because the raindrops were so big. Suddenly, a blur of black hair was running over to me and hugging me around my waist._

"_Bella! How was your weekend!" the girl squealed. She had short black hair that stood on end, and was about up to my shoulder in height, which wasn't saying much because I wasn't overly tall, myself. _

"It was as good as it gets in Forks, I would assume." I laughed as I hugged her back. That's when I saw him. My breath caught in my throat as I gawked at him. He was so unbelievably gorgeous, almost overly so. The rain, dripping over his eyes, darkened his bronze hair. Oh and his eyes, his beautiful soul-searching topaz eyes! I felt dizzy as I realized he was staring back at me. My little friend noticed my fascination so decided to pull my brain back to reality.

"_Bella this is my brother." She said running over to his side. I noticed she barely made it to his elbow, which would have amused me if he hadn't still been staring at me. I was suddenly afraid. I started to back away from them._

"_Oh, that's n-nice. W-well I better get to class." I choked as I turned my back on them and rushed away. _

Suddenly where I was going started to fade and I could hear voices that I knew didn't belong_._

"Bella? Oh my Bella! Please, please wake up." Someone sobbed beside me. I was suddenly aware that I was lying down and that someone was beside me. My eyes shot open in fear. Who was it beside me? Was it him? Was he going to finish me off like I know he wanted to?

"Bella!" my mom cried into my hand as I looked over to her. Oh thank god! It was my mother, my mommy.

"Mum." I said trying to hold back the tears I didn't want to spill.

"Mum, what happened?" I asked taking my hand from hers to feel my head. I had a bandage wrapped around my head. I couldn't remember anything.

"Oh baby, you fell" she sobbed. I looked at her pain and it made me want to cry along with her.

"You lost your footing on the stairs and hit your head." She said closing her eyes as if to erase the memory.

"I came in the door just as Phil was running down to you. Oh baby, I've never been so afraid in my life! There was so much blood!" she cried again into her hands. Now I remembered what happened, everything that happened. But I wouldn't dare cry; I wouldn't give away my horrible secret.

"You had a gash on your temple that bled so much I thought it alone would kill you. But you also had a leg that was very obviously broken. They had to put you into a coma after they gave you some more blood." She had stopped crying now and was serious as she looked into my eyes. My head was aching now; I shuddered and closed my eyes tight as I tried to hold onto my head as it felt like it was exploding. My mom ran to the door and called for a nurse. A pretty blond girl came in with a syringe and pressed the liquid into a little tube leading to my IV. My eyes started to feel heavy as the cold liquid traveled through the port into my vein.

"That should make you feel better." The nice lady said as she turned to write something on a chart on the wall. Once she was done she turned to me and smiled before walking out of the room. Just as she turned around the corner into the hall a man walked in. A man I never wanted to see for the rest of my life.

"Baby girl! I'm so glad your awake!" he exclaimed as he walked over and put his arm around my mother. His presence made my skin crawl.

"I wish I had been able to help you, Bella dear." He said crumpling his face like he was holding back tears. Suddenly my mom was patting his back in a tight embrace while telling him it was all right. Well he and I both knew better than that. He winked at me and licked his lip while my mother hugged him. I felt the color drain from my face as goose bumps overcame every inch of my body. A sudden wave of nausea over came me.

"I'm going to throw up!" I got out, just in time to roll over onto my side and puke all over the side of my bed. I couldn't help but notice some covered his shoes. He glared at me as I looked up at the two of them.

"These were new shoes!" he complained as he looked down at them shaking one of his feet. He looked back up at me with so much hatred it made me flinch. He just confirmed that he really wished that I would have never came to.

"I-I'm sorry." I said looking away from him and down at my fingers. I was waiting for him to slap me and when he didn't I looked up. My mom was looking at me, confused by my reaction.

"I'm really tired." I said looking up at her and making my eyes flutter adding to my excuse to be alone. Her eyes suddenly widened with realization.

"I'm sorry baby, we'll let you rest." She said turning to leave the room. Just before she walked out the door she turned and looked at me again.

"I love you, my Bella." She said blowing me a kiss.

"Love, too" was all I could get out as I was suddenly taken by sleep. I slept for a long time, and I welcomed the peace and quiet.


	4. the best day of my life!

Today I get to leave the hospital. The doctor came in and told me this morning. For anyone in a normal situation this would have been great news, but for me, going home was worse than the hospital. Heck, it was worse than almost anything anyone would have to face through out their life. So I was lying in bed, all my stuff packed up, starring at the wall. I wish there was some way to escape. And that's when the thought came to me. I could escape. Phil was my step dad, which means that I could live with my real dad. Without a second of hesitation I reached into my bag and pulled out my cell.

"Hello?" he said picking up after the third ring. I was so happy to hear his voice.

"Hey dad." I said trying to sound cheery. I knew it wasn't working very well but my dad wasn't very observant so I figured it would work for him.

"Oh, hi-ya Bells!" he said excitedly which brought a tear to my eye.

"What's up Hun?" he asked unsure of why I had called. I had figured my mom hadn't told him. It wasn't uncommon for me to have an 'accident' so why would she tell him each time.

"Um, well I'm about to be discharged from the hospital. I had another accident." I said trying to sound nonchalant.

"What happened? Are you alright?" he asked worriedly. This is how a father should act; I have no idea why my mom left him for Phil.

"I have a broken leg but it should be healed up soon, and I had to get stitches in my head and a blood transfusion." I said not even trying to hide my true emotions.

"Oh my god! Bells how?" he asked stunned by the extent of my injuries.

"I, uh, fell down the stairs." I said trying to make it sound like the truth. If I told him about Phil my mom would find out. Charlie was the chief of police in a little town in Washington. The true story would be enough to have Phil arrested and my mom heartbroken.

"Oh Bella. Well if you're getting out today, what can I owe the pleasure of your call?" he asked in his funny 'I wish I was smart' tone. Dad and me would talk like that all the time when I would visit for the summer when I was little; we would have to buy thesauruses so that we would be able to keep up with each others vocabulary. So I couldn't help but laugh when he used it on the phone.

"I was wondering if I could move in. Um, with you?" I asked awkwardly. I knew I got that trait from my father so I knew he would return the awkwardness.

"Why? Aren't you happy with your mom?" he asked questioningly. He knew I hated his little town, its why I stopped visiting as I got older.

"Not that I don't want you here of course." He added in when he realized he sounded a little like he didn't want me over there. I smiled at his awkwardness.

"I'm happy here." I lied.

"But I think I need a change in surrounding before I do more damage with my next accident." I said knowing that I didn't have to lie about that I was 100% serious. He sighed in agreement as he realized how right I was.

"Well I would love to have you move in Bells. Ill enrol you in school and you can start when ever." He said obviously excited that he was getting me back.

"How about next week? I really want a new start." I said trying to not sound too eager; I didn't want him to get suspicious.

"Have you talked to your mom about this?" he asked. I guess he knew my mom well enough that I would have called earlier to talk about it if she had known.

"I was kind of hoping you could help me with that." I said sheepishly into the phone. A blush appeared on my face even thought no one could see me.

"Bella." He said disapprovingly.

"Please daddy, I don't want to do it myself. I might do something wrong and hurt her feelings." I said trying to make an excuse as to why I hadn't talked to my mother first.

"Fine ill call her now and talk to her, then when she goes to pick you up she can talk with you." He said trying to make it work for both of us.

"Thanks dad! Ill see you soon." I said grinning at my success.

"Love you Bells." He said awkwardly. I knew he would be blushing just from his tone.

"Love you too dad." I laughed as I hung up. Everything was perfect!

I put my phone back in my bag and rolled over to sleep a little until my mom got there.

_I walked out of the school doors and into the back path that would take me to my first period class. The cold wind whipped my hair across my face, and I could barely see the yard ahead because the raindrops were so big. Suddenly, a blur of black hair was running over to me and hugging me around my waist._

"_Bella! How was your weekend!" the girl squealed. She had short black hair that stood on end, and was about up to my shoulder in height, which wasn't saying much because I wasn't overly tall, myself. _

"It was as good as it gets in Forks, I would assume." I laughed as I hugged her back. That's when I saw him. My breath caught in my throat as I gawked at him. He was so unbelievably gorgeous, almost overly so. The rain, dripping over his eyes, darkened his bronze hair. Oh and his eyes, his beautiful soul-searching topaz eyes! I felt dizzy as I realized he was staring back at me. My little friend noticed my fascination so decided to pull my brain back to reality.

"_Bella this is my brother." She said running over to his side. I noticed she barely made it to his elbow, which would have amused me if he hadn't still been staring at me. I was suddenly afraid. I started to back away from them._

"Oh, that's n-nice. W-well I better get to class." I choked as I turned my back on them and rushed away.

What the heck? I thought as I started to regain consciousness. Talk about de ja vu. I knew I had that dream before. I've had it a couple times actually, just since id been in the hospital. Was what it supposed to mean? I opened my eyes to see my mom standing over me. Her eyes were red and puffy as she starred down at me. Awe hell!

"Don't you like living with me?" she asked with a bit of a shaky tone. I knew this would hurt her feelings, but I knew she would be worse if I waited till my funeral.

"Of course I do mom! I think I just need a change, maybe ill have better luck walking?" I said trying to make the conversation lighter. It didn't work. She looked at me like I had stabbed her.

"Mum I love you! But I love Dad too! And I just feel like if I stay here worse things are going to happen to me. Please, cant you just understand?" I asked trying hard to get her to realize that my choice was nothing against her. Her face lightened as I said this.

"I do understand. I guess. Let me know if you ever want to come home, ill get you home as soon as possible." She said trying to hold back tears again. This time tears filled my eyes too.

"So Charlie said you wanted to start school there by next week. So when are you wanting to leave?" she asked helping me off the bed and grabbing my things. I hadn't had much time to think about it. It was Thursday today. Maybe I could talk her into staying home tomorrow and shopping with me or something then I would leave on sat?

"How about I get a flight for Saturday and you stay home with me tomorrow and we can shop for new school stuff and cloths and just have fun before I go?" I knew it was a long shot but I needed her to stay.

"That sounds good. It can be a mother daughter day before you go. Ill call work when we get home and tell them I need the day off. They owe me from all the late hours I've worked. Then ill call Theresa. You know, my friend at the travel agency? And get your flight booked. Oh my!" she said suddenly looking a little upset.

"What's the matter mum?" I asked nervously.

"Phil is in Vegas with the boys this weekend! He would want to say goodbye." She said calculating.

"Don't worry mum, ill call him when I get to the air port." I said being cheery like I had just had the most amazing idea.

"Ok I guess." She said as we walked out into the parking lot. I didn't have a cast on my leg anymore but the brace was just as hard to move in so she had to help me get into the car.

We drove home in silence. I guess we were both just thinking too much to talk. I couldn't believe I had done it. I was leaving. And I wasn't _ever_ coming back. That thought made me grin. I would never have to see him again, never have to put up with his crap. Today was the best day of my life!


	5. noone could hate with a stronger passion

I was walking thought the gate to my waiting area for my flight. I looked back to see my mom waving at me all teary eyed. I knew she would be ok; she was strong, like me. I walked over to an empty section of seats and put my stuff down. Mom had gone all out on me yesterday, I think we spent nearly $100,000 mainly because my mom loves to shop. I took out my phone and dialled Phil's cell number. I knew he has me programmed in there so it didn't surprise me when he picked up on the first ring.

"Hey" he said in his 'would be sexy if he wasn't a total creep' voice. It made me shiver even though I was nowhere near him.

"Hey" I returned the voice trying to make my surprise a total shock, something that would knock him right off his pedestal.

"Guess where I am."

"In my bed waiting for me? I knew our last time together was going to need a repeat." He said making my skin crawl even more.

"Actually no. I'm in the air port, on my way to Washington." I said sweetly. Fuck I hated that guy.

"What?" he said angrily. That put a smile on my face.

" Well, I called my dad and told him that I think its best for my health if I got away from Phoenix. That maybe I would have less 'accidents' in a new setting. And he agreed so he called mum and convinced her to let me leave." I said smugly, suddenly the voice from the other end of the phone made my stomach curl and the colour pale from my face.

"You fucking little whore! You think I'm just going to let you leave? Ill come to get you. You better fucking believe I will." He screamed into the phone. Suddenly I couldn't speak, I was so terrified. I felt my eyes grow larger with is last words. He would come get me. But I knew I couldn't let him know I was scared, he would never know he scared me.

"Oh I don't think so Phil. I'm not a whore. You are a creep. And I know for a fact you wont come anywhere near me because my father is a police chef so you will leave me alone." I said raising my voice and filling it with a false power. Then I hung up the phone. I shoved it into my bag and put my head in my hands. After a few minutes someone taped me on the shoulder.

"Are you ok miss?" a male voice asked. He looked to be a little older than I was, late teens early twenties. At least he was polite.

"I'm fine." I said only looking at him for a moment before returning my head to my hands. As if today wasn't hard enough, now I have public humiliation to add to my list.

"Not to be rude, but you don't look fine." He said tapping me on the shoulder once more. I flinched slightly at his touch which I knew in the spur of the moment would be totally obvious. I looked up to see him looking at me worriedly.

"Honestly I don't think your boyfriend is worth it if he talks to you like that." The stranger commented trying to make me feel better. Now if Phil had been just a stupid boyfriend I would have been comforted by his words. But Phil was no ordinary guy nor was he my boyfriend!

"Excuse me. What business is it of yours to comment on my life? Even if he were my boyfriend I really don't think its any of your concern!" I said angrily looking up at the guy though my lashes. Once I had finished yelling he looked so hurt and confused, then he switched to angry which was an emotion I was all to aware of. Within seconds of looking at him I broke. I began to cry and I couldn't stop. I went to reach for my things so that I could run to a bathroom or something but he stopped me. He ran in front of me but didn't touch me.

"Look I'm sorry. I just don't like seeing girls sad. And when I overheard your phone conversation I had to make sure you were ok. I really don't like it when people are mean to girls. Its just so… wrong." He said looking shy and very very sorry.

"Fine." I said wiping the tears from my cheek. He realized I was juggling bags and held out a hand to help.

"Come one." He said nodding over to the direction we had come.

"Lets sit and have a proper introduction ok." He said with such a warm smile that I couldn't deny the true honesty in his intentions. I followed him over to the seats and we piled our entire luggage together.

"Ok so ill start with the intro. Considering I'm the one that upset you in the first place and have no right to even be sitting here right now." He said smiling genuinely at me again. I couldn't help but nod and smile back.

"Alright, so. My name is Damien. I'm 17 years old. I live in Forks, Washington. I'm out here helping my sister move into her new place. My seat number is D12 and I am strictly, genuinely and 100% gay." He said smiling at the last word. Wow that took me by surprise.

"Your gay?" I asked sceptically. Raising my eyebrow to add emphasis to my doubts. I looked around the air port looking for the best looking guy within eye range. Once I found one I nodded over in their direction.

"1-10" I said crossing my arms and smiling. He looked over into the direction and gazed at the guy. His jaw dropped.

"Want to go ask him what team he plays for!" he exclaimed winking in the guys direction. The guys eyes popped out as he turned quickly and walked away. I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing so hard that people even turned to gawk at me. Damien seemed pleased to cheer me up, he had a big smile spread across his face.

"Ok missy, your turn." He said looking at me and getting comfortable.

"Ok well, my name is Bella. I'm 16 years old and I'm moving to Forks, Washington. I hate men, I hate Phoenix, I do not have a boyfriend nor have I had one. My seat number is D13, Hey I'm beside you! And I'm straight." I said with a light laugh. He looked at me wide eyed. I blushed a little at the attention.

"Who in their right mind _chooses_ to move to Forks?" he asked gawking at me in fake horror, which made me laugh again. Ok so I really liked this guy, he was fun.

"Ha-ha, well I was born there, and my dad lives there and I've had some recent problems where I have needed to relocate." I said in my 'I'm smarter than you' voice I used with my father all the time. He looked over me and was suddenly aware of my appearance. I had a bruise on my temple that still had a lovely pink scar on it, a brace on my leg and the remains of a black eye from when I had the 'accident'. Realization hit him and I was suddenly warm as my annoying blush flooded my face again. Quickly he hid his understanding and moved on.

"Yeah my parents are split too. My dad drinks too much and has issues that me and my mom had enough of." He said trying to match my pain even though I knew he couldn't. However there was a look in his eye that had suddenly made me feel like there was something on the topic that he wasn't telling me. That made me realize that we both had lives that we didn't want to talk about, which made me like him even more. Our plain landed then and we got in line to board the plain that was saving my life.


	6. sweet dreambeautiful nightmare

_I walked out of the school doors and into the back path that would take me to my first period class. The cold wind whipped my hair across my face, and I could barely see the yard ahead because the raindrops were so big. Suddenly, a blur of black hair was running over to me and hugging me around my waist._

"_Bella! How was your weekend!" the girl squealed. She had short black hair that stood on end, and was about up to my shoulder in height, which wasn't saying much because I wasn't overly tall, myself. _

"It was as good as it gets in Forks, I would assume." I laughed as I hugged her back. That's when I saw him. My breath caught in my throat as I gawked at him. He was so unbelievably gorgeous, almost overly so. The rain, dripping over his eyes, darkened his bronze hair. Oh and his eyes, his beautiful soul-searching topaz eyes! I felt dizzy as I realized he was staring back at me. My little friend noticed my fascination so decided to pull my brain back to reality.

"_Bella this is my brother." She said running over to his side. I noticed she barely made it to his elbow, which would have amused me if he hadn't still been staring at me. I was suddenly afraid. I started to back away from them._

"Oh, that's n-nice. W-well I better get to class." I choked as I turned my back on them and rushed away.

I woke up to my annoying alarm buzzing in my ear. I can't believe I had that dream again! It was like someone was forcing it into my mind. Today was my first day of school. Charlie had my room all redone and looking about as good as it gets in Forks which was ok with me. We had discovered yesterday that the man cant cook to save his life so I decided that I would cook from now on. I got up and headed down stairs to get something to eat. Charlie's cruiser was already gone so I knew he was at work. I got a bowl of Nesquick cereal and sat at the kitchen table. I ate quickly so that I would have extra time to get ready this morning. Damien was going to come pick me up for school in an hour. Once I was done I washed my dishes and put them on the drying rack. Then I went back up stairs and took an amazing hot shower, they always made me feel better. Once I was finished that I went to my closet to figure out what to wear. I decided on a red top with a white sweater and my blue jeans. Once I was dressed I went back to the bathroom to dry my hair and do my makeup, though I barely wear enough for it to actually be called makeup. Then I heard Damien yelling at me from outside.

"Bella! I'm leaving if you're not down here in 10 seconds!" he yelled up to my window. I laughed and grabbed my bag as I ran down the stairs and out the door. I locked it and turned to see Damien looking all dolled up.

"Well don't you look all gay." I said with a shove as I walked past him to the car.

"I am going to take that as a complement." He said sticking his nose in the air and walking toward the drivers seat.

"Good. Gay guys are definitely more hygienic than regular old boys." I said making up for the shot that I had just made at his ego. He laughed in agreement as he started the car and drove toward the school. Once we got there he took me to the front office to get my class list then showed me where they were. Damien and I had English, Biology, and Gym together. English was first so we walked to class once the tour was finished. The teacher made me introduce myself in front of the class so I told them my name and that Damien was my best friend, which I knew would make him smile. Once English was over we had to go separate ways until period three which was after lunch. Next I had Math, I sat through the class bored out of my mind for the next hour. When class was over I saw Damien waiting for me in the hall, he was such a great kid. I was on my way to him when a guy cut me off invading my space, which made me flinch back.

"Hi, I'm Mike. You must be Isabella?" he said putting his hand out in front of him.

"Bella." I stated taking his hand quickly then stepping back so I could get around him.

"Well Bella, I would love to get to know you. Would you like to have lunch with my friends and me? I can introduce you to them all." He said obviously trying to be nice. I looked over to Damien with pleading eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Actually mike, she's having lunch with me today." He said looking nervously at me.

"Tisk tisk, Damien didn't you tell her you're a fag?" he asked in a mocking tone that made Damien flinch.

"I-um" was all Damien could get out before I stepped in.

"Actually I do know that Mike thanks for the update. Thanks for the invite but ill have to pass." I said waving as I looped my arm with Damien's and walked away.

"I really don't like that guy." Damien said as we got to a table in the café. I looked around to see many different faces at our table. Damien introduced them as: Jessica, Angelina, Lauren, Eric, Ben, and the lovely Mike. They were all very welcoming but they were nothing compared to the people I saw at the far corner of the café. They looked like super models and they definitely didn't belong.

"Who are they?" I asked Damien. He looked over to the direction I was pointing with my eyes and he giggled.

"Those are the Cullen's." he said matter of factly. He smiled at my dumb gaze.

"The tall brawny one is Emmett and he is with the tall blond, Rosalie. Then there is the tall blond guy Jasper, who is with the little black haired girl Alice." He said looking over at the table with me. When our eyes landed on Alice my breath caught in my throat. It was her, the girl from my dream! She looked back at me with a kind smile and waved. I turned automatically embarrassed that I had been caught gawking at them.

"And there is another one, Edward. He had bronze hair and totally gorgeous, but I don't see him anywhere." Damien said looking around the table for him. Suddenly the door nearest the Cullen's table opened and in walked an amazingly gorgeous man with bronze hair. Now I was totally freaking out, he was the guy from my dream; the one Alice was introducing me to when I ran away. I couldn't believe this! The bell rang and Damien and I parted to go to our lockers before class, I was just hoping I would be able to find it because I had forgotten to ask Damien to show me. After a little searching I found it and opened it up. I put my stuff in so that I could get all the weight off my back when suddenly I heard a high-pitched bell voice from beside me. It was my locker neighbour, Alice.

"Hi Bella! My names Alice." She said excitedly. I smiled at her not wanting to be rude and waved.

"Hi." I said looking back at my locker. I was still embarrassed from lunch.

"Bella, everyone stairs at us. You don't have to be all embarrassed over it." She said with a kind smile. I smiled at her as she continued.

"So what classes do you have?" he asked trying to make small talk.

"English, Math, Biology, and Gym." I rhymed as I tried hard to remember them all. She laughed.

"Very nice. Beware of Gym though." She said in a grave voice.

"It can get pretty intense here." She said with a totally serious face until she couldn't hold up the charade a moment longer and burst into a peal of laughter.

"Don't worry, I plan to avoid everything that has to do with movement." I said laughing with her. I really liked it here; there were a lot of nice people. And I had a feeling that Alice and I were going to become very good friends. Just then the bell rang for us to head to third period.

"Well good luck with your day Bella. See you later." She said with a smile as she turned and left for her class. I had a feeling that her and I were going to be very good friends. Now I had to go find Damien. I found him sitting in Biology with Mike standing over him.

"Haven't you told her you're a fag, _Damien_?" Mike sneered. He looked down at Damien pleased that he was getting to him.

"You know she's too good for you. So quit lying to yourself, your holding her back." Mike said as Damien looked down at his shoes. I could see water forming in his eye as he hid it from everyone else. Everyone was watching them, no one laughing, but no one stopping it either. I walked into the room and cleared my throat beside Damien. Mike hadn't seen me come in.

"Oh hey Bella." He said cheery as if he hadn't just been trying to make my best friend publicly cry.

"Hey Mike. You were trying to cheer Damien up? That's amazingly nice of you!" I said with a smile. I was being totally sarcastic but I was going to play dumb. I didn't want enemies but I couldn't want Damien cry.

"Uh what?" Mike asked unsure of where the conversation was going.

"I saw you talking to him, but he looks kinda sad don't you think? So you must have been trying to make him feel better." I explained in a voice that makes it totally believable that I was 'clueless' to what was really going on.

"Oh, um, yeah. Cheer up Damien." He said looking down at D with so much hated that it reminded me of the way Phil looked at me and it made me take a step farther away from him. Just then the teacher walked into the room and called the class to order.

"Oh, you must be the new girl." The teacher said when he saw that I was the only one not sitting down.

"Bella. Yep." I said picking up my things off of Damien's desk. The teacher looked through the room looking for a place to seat me.

"Well Miss. Swan, it appears the only seat left in this room is beside Mr. Cullen." He said pointing over in the direction of the table on the other side of Damien. D looked at me with wide eyes. I looked over to see the gorgeous Edward Cullen looking over at me. Holy shit!

"Is there a problem Miss. Swan?" he asked when I didn't move from where I stood.

"Um, no sir. Sorry." I said as I walked quickly to my seat. Suddenly Edwards face went from curious to furious in a matter of seconds. He looked at me with so much hatred I almost fell off my chair when I flinched away. A second of curiosity crossed his face but was soon taken over again by that strong overpowering glair that he was throwing at me. He had his nose rested over the back of his hand trying to look casual about it but obviously trying hard not to breath. Did I smell? I sniffed my hair, but it didn't smell like anything but my shampoo and I know the rest of me didn't smell. I let my hair fall over my face in a thick dark curtain so that I could pretend nothing was really happening. I doodled on my binder for the rest of class without looking up once. As soon as the bell rang Edward jumped up and moved quickly to the door.

"What did you do? Stab him with a pencil?" D asked once we were in the hall walking toward Gym. He had a joking look on his face but I knew he really wanted to know what made Edward look so angry with me.

"I guess I just bring out the best in men." I said looking down at my book as I walked. My hair fell over my face again as if knowing I really wished I could just curl up in a ball and die. Damien pulled me to a stop at the side of the hall and pulled my hair away from my face, he tucked it behind my ear and left his hand on my cheek so that I couldn't look away.

"Bella, nothing anyone ever did was your fault." He said looking hard at me. I knew it was something he had been telling himself for years. Which made it easier for me to believe him. I nodded and pulled away. We headed to class and finished my first day at Forks High school. Damien drove me home after school and I spent the rest of the night thinking of him. Edward Cullen.


	7. sob stories

His body moved with mine, as we loved one another. It was not one sided like I was used to, no I wanted this, I was not afraid, I was happy. He kissed me with so much passion and love that I thought my heart might explode. I kissed him back and pushed myself closer to him. He fit with me perfectly, like magic. He moaned, as I pressed harder to him. Suddenly I couldn't hold back any longer, with a loud moan I released and only moments after he did as well. He looked up at me and whispered, "I love you." In a voice I didn't recognise. Suddenly I saw his face clearly for the first time, it was him, Edward.

I sat up straight in bed. My eyes still dazed and confused darted around the room. I was suddenly cold and realized it was because I was covered in a sheen of sweat. I looked over at my alarm clock to see that it was 5:00 am. Well I figured I might as well get out of bed considering I would have to get up in an hour and I really don't think I was going to be able to get back asleep. That dream had been so real! I didn't know what to think. I swung my legs to the edge of my bed to get up when I felt something wet between my legs. Apparently it had felt pretty real for my body too, my underwear were soaked. I hopped into the shower making sure it was nice and hot. I loved hot showers; they always seemed to calm me down. Once I was done I brushed my hair and teeth. When I got out of the bathroom I heard the front door close, Charlie must be on his way to work now. I went back into my room to raid my closet for something to wear. I chose I white lacy blouse and my favourite pair of jeans. I wanted him to notice me today. I went back into the bathroom to do my makeup though I hardly ever wore any. I put on a little shadow only to make my eyes pop, not to make them look over the top. Then I lined my eyes with a brown liner and mascara. I put on my mocha lip-gloss that gave my lips a bit of a frosty tint and headed for the door. I looked out the front window but D wasn't there yet so I decided to grab a bite to eat. I finished a small bowl of Cheerio's just as Damien pulled up. He was running late this morning, I grabbed my purse and my backpack and ran out the door. I stubbed my toe as I ran over to the car making my leg ache. It was still sore from the accident but it was just in a tenser bandage now. Once I got into the car my breath caught in my throat.

"Damien!" I gasped as I starred at his face. He had a light purple bruise circling his right eye. It was in an obvious outline of a fist.

"Don't worry about it B" he said looking away out the window. For once I thought I could see a hint of anger in his eye. Who could have done this? Who would have wanted to do this? I couldn't understand.

"But D…" I started to say before he cut me off.

"Please Bella, just leave it alone." He said looking out the dash window as we drove. We didn't talk the whole way to school. To be honest I was afraid to. Even though I knew and trusted Damien, he was still a guy, and I knew how they got when they were mad. Once we got to school we walked to our class in silence. When it was finally time for us to part he turned from a story he was telling me to give me a hug before we parted. I flinched away from him instinctively. He had been acting happy all morning but I couldn't get that picture of him in the car out of my head. He looked at me confused. I shook my head and hugged him.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I pulled away.

"B, I'm not mad at you." He said sounding very hurt. I looked up to see his face confirm my thoughts. His eyes were sad and pleading. He was my best friend and I was his, he didn't want to lose me, and he definitely didn't want me to feel this way toward him.

"I know." I said patting him on the shoulder

"Its just reflex." I said shrugging and turning away.

"See you at lunch." I said as I turned and walked away. He said goodbye and I took my seat in class waiting for the teacher to begin his lesson. Math was borings as usual and once it was finished I saw Damien waiting for me outside the door. We walked to the café together and got our food. I looked over to the Cullen's table but he wasn't there. Damien and I took a seat at a table with our friends. Mike Newton walked up to the table with a tray of food and sat down. He took a look at me and smiled, then looked over at Damien then burst out laughing.

"Guys, looks to me like daddy moved back in." Mike said nodding over toward Damien. Damien looked at him with such hate that I would have run away in a corner if I were Mike. Damien wasn't as big as Mike, but he wasn't scrawny ether. I saw his fists clench as he tried hard to keep his mouth shut. One of mikes friends laughed with him, but the rest of the kids just looked at him.

"Shut up Mike!" The girl named Angelina said in an obviously angry voice even though she was a very soft-spoken person.

"Oh come on Ange, like you weren't thinking it. Like you weren't all thinking it!" he said looking around at all of them. Some looked away embarrassed at the truth of the statement but again most just looked annoyed and angry.

"Seriously Mike, shut up or leave." Some Ben kid added backing up Angelina who was embarrassed over her outburst.

"Whatever." Mike said looking back toward his other buddies and talking and laughing. Everyone looked over at Damien and apologized all at once for that outbreak that had happened right in front of him. I hadn't realized but my face had drained and I was leaned away from everyone. Damien relaxed and looked down at his food.

"Come on." I said taking his hand and pulling him up from his seat. I knew he wasn't going to eat anything so it wasn't like I was going to make him starve. We went outside and started walking around the school ground.

"Do you ever ditch?" I asked him pulling him to a stop. I knew Edward wouldn't be in biology and it wasn't like there was anything new to learn in there science we were working on a unit I had done at my other school earlier in the year.

"No, but I don't mind starting." Damien said starring ahead of him then into my eyes. He looked so distraught. We walked over to the car then drove into town.

"I have an idea, pull over here." I said as we drove up to the town liquor store.

"Are you nuts!" Damien said looking at me like I was insane. I giggled.

"I do this all the time, and if it goes south, who cares, my dads a cop." I said getting out of the car. I looked into the car window and messed up my hair a little, and then I set my face and batted my eyelashes. Once my reflection looked 'sexy' enough I turned and walked into the store. I walked over to the freezer section and grabbed two four packs of coolers and walked up to the cash. The casher was an old man, looking like he was in his high 70's. His eyes popped as he saw me approach. I thought he had figured me out but I couldn't let my confidence waver, that was the trick.

"Hey there." I said putting the drinks up on the counter. He looked away quickly answering with a quick hi as he scanned the items. Once I paid I gave him a nice 'thank you' and walked out of the store. No problem. I got back into the car and Damien drove off laughing.

"I can not believe we just did that!" he said all exhilarated.

"D, I'm the one that broke the law, you sat in the car." I laughed as we drove into a park. We brought our drinks over to a bench and sat down. We finished two bottles before we got into any serious conversation.

"Tell me about your history." I said looking up into his eyes. He knew what I meant just as well as I did. He looked like he was about to say no but then he started into his story.

"My dad was always very proud of me. We did a lot of things together and he had me on all the sports teams Forks offers. Once I turned 13 I realized I wasn't like other guys, I started getting crushes on the other guys on my teams and I knew that wasn't normal. When I was 15 I finally decided that I couldn't live a lie anymore. I couldn't pretend to be attracted to girls anymore. So I got my parents together and I told them. My dad was already on his way to being a drunk at the time but it got worse when he found out. He started to drink rye and whisky like water whenever he was home. Then he started hitting me. He lost his job so he hit me more, my mom started to pull away from him so he hit me eve more. Then one day when my mom came home from work she walked in on my dad holding me against a wall with his hands around my neck. My mom ran to me as soon as she saw what was going on. She somehow got him to let go and he was kicked out that night." He said looking away from me over to the little pond that was in the middle of the park.

"I ran into him at the store today. He said everything was my fault, that I didn't disserve anything, that I was a mistake. When I tried to leave he pulled me around and hit me." He showed me a bruise that was starting to form on his upper arm; they were fingerprints. I knew all too well how he felt. I hugged him tightly knowing that's what would have made me feel better after an accident with my step dad. He hugged me back then pulled away to look at me. He wasn't crying but his eyes were glazed over with tears.

"What about you?" he asked getting ready for my story now. His story was definitely bad, but I knew mine was worse. Mine was embarrassing; mine was my fault. I started to shake my head but he took my face in his hands.

"I won't judge. You were there for me through mine, now let me be there for you." He said looking at me and kissing me on the cheek. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Charlie and my mom divorced when I was a baby. She met Phil when I was 5 and I thought he was the greatest, he would play with me all the time. Then when I was 10 they got married. Not long after that I got to see his temper. He would hide it all the time from my mom and one day it was just too much and I got in the way. He hit me, and I didn't tell anyone. When he realized I wouldn't tell it became more of a habit. Then one day when I was 15 I walked into my mom's room to find some cloths from the clean laundry. I was only in my bra and underwear and I didn't know he was home, or in there. He saw me and his eyes lit up. He raped me and he's been raping me ever since. This last time he bought a stupid slut costume and made me put it on, then he cuffed me and rapped me in my own mom's bed. This time I got mad because I hadn't taken the pill that much and yeah, so I punched him and ran, he chased me and pushed me down the stairs" I showed him the scar on my head and then pointed to my leg.

"Then I decided to move out here, I called him to tell me and that's what you heard." His eyes widened in realization as he remembered what he had heard. He had thought he was just a guy that was bad to me, not my father.

"Oh my god!" he said starring at me with wide eyes.

"B I wish you have moved out here when you were 10!" he said pulling me into a hug so tight I didn't think I could breath. I hugged him back as tears started spilling from both of our eyes. We sat there for the rest of the afternoon drinking and comforting one another.


	8. as he watches me

A week and a half later…

I was sitting in the passenger seat of Damien's car as we drove to school. We were laughing and carrying on like usual as we pulled into the parking lot. I happened to glance out the window just as we drove past the Cullen's parking space. I was laughing so hard at Damien's jealous Mike impression that if I had glanced over half a second later I probably wouldn't have seen him, Edward, starring at me. He didn't look mad this time, just curious, maybe even calculating. I turned away quickly still laughing and began my own impersonation of Lauren. I didn't like her much; she talked about everyone behind their backs especially me.

First and second were boring as usual, Damien and I spent half of first period writing notes back and forth until I wrote something that made him laugh so hard that we got caught. The teacher made him get up and read the note in front of the class, it was something to do with a Elliott, a boy in that class and how many boogers there were on the bottom of his desk. He wasn't too pleased when the whole class looked over at him and started laughing too. The teacher looked like he wanted to send us to the office but he was the one that made D read it in the first place so he couldn't. I had fallen asleep in math but Mike thought that he better be polite and wake me up. He kicked the back of my chair and passed me a note. It asked if I would like to go with him to La Push this weekend (that was the native reservation just down the highway from the town) I declined automatically. Finally the bell rang and it was time for lunch. Damien was running late so we met up in the café instead of outside my class.

I was standing in line getting food, daydreaming of course. Damien was out at a table already, that's why I wasn't expecting it when a guy came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder. I pulled away and turned around quickly.

"Whoa there Bella, calm down." Mike said smiling at me. Ugh.

"Don't sneak up on me like that." I said putting my hand on my chest, trying to calm my pulse. My face flushed as it slowed.

"I just wanted to apologize for everything. I've been a real jerk lately." He said looking down from my face to my chest then down to his shoes trying to be subtle.

"Its fine." I mumbled as I turned back around. He caught my arm half way and I flinched away once more.

"Can you please not grab me like that." I said a little annoyed that he kept pulling me around like I was a freaking rag doll.

"Sorry. I really do want you to come with me to the beach Friday." He said looking into my eyes with a 'puppy dog' look. I took in a deep breath.

"I already told you no thank you Mike." I said trying to keep a nice even tone even though this kid was getting on my nerves.

"Oh come on it will be fun." He said looking from my eyes to my chest then his feet again. Ugh this kid was starting to really piss me off. If I wanted people starring at my chest I wouldn't be wearing a shirt!

"Look Mike…" I began to say when I was surprisingly interrupted.

"Mike give her a break before you permanently look like an idiot." A male voice came and went within a matter of a couple steps. I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. His voice was so angelic. Oh My God! It was Edward! He was standing up for _me_? No, it must be something else; he can't stand me. Mike looked like he had just seen a ghost; he shook his head as if to clear it from its recent activities looked at me and walked away. I starred after Edward like a moron. He looked back at me then turned and walked away. I shook my head myself then left to meet up with Damien.

"What took you so long?" Damien asked. He looked at me then at his watch.

"Lunch is almost over." He stated looking at me once again confused.

"Mike was asking me out… again." I said taking a seat and rolling my eyes.

"It took that long?" he asked taking a bite of his lunch. Then when he looked into my eyes he saw there was more to my story.

"What happened?" he asked suddenly worried.

"Edward Cullen told him off for me." I said still stunned from the actual event. Damien's eyes popped out of his head.

"Who? Did what?" he said trying to blink away his surprise. We both looked at each other shocked.

"You heard me." I said nodding in unison with him. He looked over my shoulder toward the Cullen table.

"Holy Shit! He's looking at you!" Damien said ducking his head behind me.

"What?" I hissed as I hunched over too. I looked over my shoulder only to whip my head back around again. My eyes were bulging. Edward Cullen was starring at me! Damien leaned over to look over my shoulder again.

"Stop it! He will see you!" I hissed. As I wished very much that I could be invisible. Frig this was so awkward.

"Lets go for a walk!" I said grabbing his hand and pulling him quickly behind me out the door.


	9. his vision

Edward was in class finally today but he didn't say a word to me or anyone else the whole time. He just sat there and took notes looking utterly bored. I spent the period hiding my face and taking secret glances toward him that weren't do secret because each time I was the one catching him starring at me. He didn't look away either, every time I caught him he looked back at me, right into my eyes. Class inched by but when it was finally done he was out of there just as the bell rang. Gym went by quickly because I was thinking about him the whole time. I went to my locker before heading out to Damien's car. I had been expecting Alice to be there. She was one of my new friends here. She had short jet-black hair that stuck out in just about every way. She was pale and gorgeous, and a Cullen. We usually talked when we met up at our lockers, we talked for a minute at lunch a couple times too but nothing major because she always ate with her family and they scared all my friends, including me. Once I waited long enough I realized she must have already left, pulled on my jacket and headed for the door.

I walked out of the school doors and into the back path that would take me to my first period class. I walked the opposite way toward the student parking lot. The cold wind whipped my hair across my face, and I could barely see the yard ahead because the raindrops were so big. Suddenly, a blur of black hair was running over to me and hugging me around my waist.

"Bella! How was your weekend!" the girl squealed. She had short black hair that stood on end, and was about up to my shoulder in height, which wasn't saying much because I wasn't overly tall, myself.

"It was as good as it gets in Forks, I would assume." I laughed as I hugged her back. That's when I saw him. My breath caught in my throat as I gawked at him. He was so unbelievably gorgeous, almost overly so. The rain, dripping over his eyes, darkened his bronze hair. Oh and his eyes, his beautiful soul-searching topaz eyes! I felt dizzy as I realized he was staring back at me. My little friend noticed my fascination so decided to pull my brain back to reality.

"Bella this is my brother." She said running over to his side. I noticed she barely made it to his elbow, which would have amused me if he hadn't still been staring at me. I was suddenly afraid. I started to back away from them.

"Oh, that's n-nice. W-well I better get to class… I mean go." I choked as I turned my back on them and rushed to the parking lot. I shook my head as I walked over toward Damien's car. No way I had just said that. Was I really that stupid?

Edwards POV

"Oh, that's n-nice. W-well I better get to class… I mean go." Bella fumbled uncomfortably as she backed away. I held in a laugh until she was gone.

"Well Alice, I think you have succeeded in traumatizing the poor child to death." I said walking over to the car. She looked at me looking disappointed.

"I've _seen _it Edward! She is going to love you!" Alice defended herself against my criticism.

"Alice even if you did see it, you've probably changed that now. You just forced her into something she obviously isn't ready for." I said looking at her a little sad now. Even though she was just a human, she interested me. She wasn't ordinary. I couldn't read her minds like I could with everyone else. And I couldn't help but look at her, and analyze every inch of her face. And her smell, Oh My God her _smell_! It was so intoxicating, like a drug. I didn't know why, but I didn't want her to be afraid of me.

"Edward it wasn't only her in love." Alice said watching my face.

"You loved her too, you need her." Alice said stopping and looking into my eyes. Suddenly I got defensive.

"I don't need anyone. I've been on my own longer than you have been alive." I said squaring my shoulders and walking away.

"Edward that's bull shit and you know it!" she accused. I did know it, but I wasn't admitting it to her. I was lonely every night, when everyone had someone to be with and I was alone with my piano or my books. It was hard to bear, but I did, and I plan to continue.

"Alice, I'm serious. Stay out of her head and leave her alone." I said my final words and got into the car. Alice had a gift for seeing the future. She can tell the path you're on but only when you're on it, as soon as your mind changes the vision changes. Now she has recently discovered that she can also will the person in the vision to see it as well. Which is what she has been doing to Bella. The poor girl must think she's going insane. This is not right. My whole family have there own kinds of 'gifts' however Alice, Jasper and myself are the only ones with any kind of physical gift. Jasper is Alice's husband and my brother and he can influence people's emotions as well as feel them as his own. As for me, I can read minds. Within a certain distance I hear the thoughts of every person around me all at the same time. It has taken many years but I have learned to tune it out otherwise I would have a vampire version of a headache. If I know the 'voice' of a person or if I am looking for them I can hear them louder than all the other voices, which comes in handy on occasion. As for the rest of my family, there are Emmett and Rosalie who also go to school here and are married. Emmett is very strong and Rosalie is very beautiful, both traits that they carry through the change from human to vampire. Finally there is Carlisle and Esme, my 'parents'. Carlisle is the one that created all of us with the acception of Alice and jasper. Carlisle brought through the change his humanity and Esme, her passion and love.

We drove in silence the whole way home, Alice new not to push a subject once I end it, I'm very stubborn and some times I'm quite proud of it. When I got in the door everyone was waiting for me. What did they expect me to bring her home? Expect me to bring her home dead? That human had almost died the first day I saw her. She smelled so good it was impossible to ignore. I had to leave; I had run to Alaska, and for a long time I didn't plan on coming back. But I needed to be with my family. And I needed to see her again; I just had to. I had no idea what this pull was toward her but I couldn't help myself. I needed to know why I couldn't read her mind, no matter how heard I tried. I needed to know why whenever anyone, correction when any male went near her, her complexion dropped a shade. Why she has that frown line that pulls her lovely eyebrows together. I just needed to know her, everything about her. Most of all I needed to know why every time that horrible creature Mike looked at her I just wanted to attack him in a dark ally, why when she would grab hold of that Damien boy it made me want to be sick. I needed to know it all, and more.

I made my way up to my room. I was tired of the day; too bad the day would never end. Not for me, or anyone else in my family. I put my favourite CD into my amazing stereo system. It was Clare De Lune, by Debussy, such an amazing song, and such great talent. I walked over to my couch to lie down. This was my version of sleep, put on some good music and let my thoughts take me. I put my arms behind my head and started to relax each of my muscles one my one starting from my feet. I was working on my stomach and chest when I heard little footsteps coming toward my room.

"Alice, we are not talking about this any more. My mind is set." I said as I lie there with my eyes closed. I could feel her presence leaning over my couch but I didn't open my eyes, I wasn't having this conversation again.

"Edward, just open your heart just this once." She said standing over me waiting for me to open my eyes, waiting for some kind of attention to what she was saying.

"Edward you just have to see my vision to know this is right. She loves you already Edward she just doesn't know it. And I know you feel it too!" she said trying to get me to speak to listen, to care. Little did she know I did hear every word she said, and I did care about everything she was saying, but I was not going to get in the way of this girls life. Suddenly I was seeing Alice's vision. Ugh she was so persistent.

It was Bella. She was asleep in her bed and I was in her room. Standing by her window, just watching her. She was so beautiful when she slept; it was the only peace I had ever seen comes over her face. She mumbled something but even with my inhuman hearing I could not tell what it was. "Edward." She sighed as she slept. Her lip turned up into a slight smile. Suddenly her face grew panicked and she shot up and out of her sleep. She saw me the instant she sat up but in the time it took for her to blink I was in her closet. "Ugh, not again!" she hit her bed beside her in frustration. "I don't even know you!" she shouted to no on, little did she know the person she was speaking to really was there.

The vision faded and suddenly I was back in my room with Alice standing over me once more. My eyes shot open. I had this feeling in my stomach like I was going to be sick. I didn't know what I was doing. Suddenly my brain was all scattered and I couldn't think straight. One thing I did know. I was going to see her… tonight.


	10. his family

I ran to her house, which would normally be about a 15 min drive from my own. Another perk of being a vampire, we were incredibly fast, and personally I was even faster, I was the fastest in my family and the fastest of any vampires that I had been acquainted with. Within a few minutes I was standing in front of her house starring up at her window. I jumped up into the tree just outside her window. It took me a minute but I finally got the moxy to look into her window. I peered in but all I could see was a rocking chair, a computer, closet, and the foot of her bed. I must be at the opposite end of her room. I slid the window open quickly. It whined and protested as I moved it. I would have to bring some oil for the next time I would visit. Look, now I was already planning on coming back, this was a bad idea. I stepped into her room and my breath caught. It smelled so powerful. I didn't know if I would be able to control myself, it was almost unbearable. With my intentions wavering I glanced over to see the sleeping beauty. She lie there still and calm, as if she was dead, but the colour still filled her cheeks and her lips were full and a lovely shade of pink. Suddenly the thought of her cheeks being pale and her lips blue was enough to take me off my feet. She could never die, not as long as I was with her. I wouldn't be able to live through it. Then I felt it; the smell that had been burning my throat did not let up but instead gave me a different feeling. It was no longer a sent accompanied by thirst, but a lure that pulled my world to hers. Without thinking I took a step toward her but stopped briskly.

"Edward." She mumbled in her dream. It made my heart melt and the sleeping birds sing. It was if nothing in my world mattered but her anymore, and it didn't bother me one bit. It was no longer hard to accept, I needed her, I loved her, and I would love her forever. Suddenly she sat up straight and starred right at me. My heart stopped and I ran toward the closet the second her eyelids closed to blink away the sleep. She looked confused and annoyed as she starred at where I had once stood.

"Ugh, not again!" she exclaimed hitting the bed with her fists. She was so cute when she was frustrated. The way her brow pulled together; disappointment? No, I was just flattering myself.

"I don't even know you!" she screamed to no one. Little did she know that it was not to no one. That I was there, I was the one she had been yelling at, and I did indeed hear her. Her words broke my cold hear. Made me want to run to her and hold her, to tell her every detail of both of my lives. I didn't want to be a stranger to her; I wanted her to know me, just as much as I wanted to know her. She looked over at her clock frustrated. It was 5:00am. She stood up and stretched yawning as she walked over to her window to close it. She shivered as the wind blew through and caressed her skin. Oh how I wished just for that one moment that I could have been the wind, to be able to caress her, to touch her. She left the room and I heard a shower turn on just down the hall. A part of me wanted to stay, wanted to watch her forever. However just as she needed to get ready for school so did I. I looked down at myself to see my cloths dirty from the eager run here, and I knew that my hair was a mess. Not like it was normally in place, it wasn't really my style. I opened her closet door and ran to her window, then opened the window and vanished into the early dawns sky. I ran into my room through the door I had that opened out to the porch that surrounded the outside of my room. Alice was sitting on my couch waiting for me.

"Have fun Eddie?" she asked in her all too annoying sense of 'humour'. I rolled my eyes at her as I opened my closet and walked in. usually I would have chewed her out for calling me anything but my name, however I was in too good of a mood today. In about an hour or so I would see her again, and knowing that truth I couldn't come down from cloud nine.

"Want me to introduce the two of you?" Alice asked trying to be helpful. That pulled me down in a second flat.

"No! Don't say anything to her!" I freaked as I whipped around to face her. I was inches from her face when suddenly my whole family was in my room. I was quickly facing jaspers chest instead of Alice's face while my temper cooled.

"You can't have that temper around a human, Edward. You will kill her." Rosalie sneered at me as I turned away from jaspers glair. Yes he was my brother and yes we both loved and respected one another; however when something or someone threatened Alice that was all that mattered. Emmett elbowed his wife while Esme and Carlisle both shared warning glances at her.

"Rosalie, even your heartless remarks cant effect me today." Was all I said as I disappeared into my closet once more. Once I had picked what I was going to wear that day I ran into the bathroom to have a quick shower. Usually the bathroom was just for show purpose considering our bodies don't function like normal peoples do. Well I guess that would make sense considering we weren't even people. However the shower did come in handy on the occasion that we would get dirty.

It was 10 to 7 when I was finally headed out to my car. I had changed my outfit about 5 times this morning and organized and reorganized my music choices for the car today. We were all about to hop into my Volvo when I suddenly had a better idea.

"Actually, you guys take my car today." I said looking over at Alice who had already taken the keys out of my hand and was sitting in the drivers seat. I walked back into the house to see my father on his way out as well.

"Carlisle, would you mind switching cars with me for the day?" I asked curiously. I had my 'occasion' car that anyone in the family would beg me to allow them to drive. I was willing to allow my father to drive that car in return to drive his Mercedes. I would have taken my own amazing car but it was too inconspicuous to drive to school in, even though I was looking for the extra attention.

"Of course son, however I don't really believe the car you drive will really matter to her." He said patting my shoulder as he walked by me. I took his key off the rack and got in the car. I weaved through the little traffic that would take me into town; I was at school in about five minutes arriving at the exact same time as Damien and Bella. They were both standing beside his car talking, however I could see that there was something else on her mind. She was looking over at my family who were all standing around my Volvo. She searched every face and her eyes lingered waiting to see me emerge from the car later than the rest of them. I pulled into the parking space my family had been saving for me, not like anyone ever parked beside us. I looked around to see everyone's eyes on me. That didn't matter. It was her attention I was looking for. I looked into my rear mirror to see her and Damien both starring at my car wide eyed and drooling in Damien's case. Today I had chosen black jeans and a cream turtleneck to wear. This outfit won over the others because the sweater fit snugly, contouring all of my curves, and my jeans… well they looked my butt look good (says Alice) witch would just be an added bonus. I stepped out of my car locking it behind my back as I walked over to Alice.

"The newbie tries to hard." Emmett whispered to Jasper glancing at me making sure I could hear. Jasper started to laugh just as I reached them. Alice and Rosalie joined in the laughter as I gave Emmett a good kidney shot. The family broke out in howls of laughter (while keeping low key of course) as Emmett very obviously pretended it hurt. We were all joking and laughing when the bell finally rang for school to start.

"I won't forget that shot." Emmett warned as he rushed past me wrapping his arm around Rosalie. I glanced over to see Bella starring after me while Angela tried to grab her attention. I looked away again just in time to add a smart comment to something Alice had said. She jumped on my back making me 'stumble' for balance.


	11. back to bella

Bella's POV

After what felt like forever, the lunch bell finally rang. Damien and I no longer sat with mike and everyone at lunch, sometimes we would have people come and have lunch with us like Ange and Ben. I was playing with the lid to my coke bottle when Damien threw a skittle at me to catch my attention.

"He's starring at you again." Damien whispered looking over my shoulder at the Cullen table.  
"Correction, they are starring at you." He said doing a double take. After a moment or two his face went blank as he starred up, over my shoulder this time.

"Hi Bella." A chiming bell voice said sounding excited. I had forgotten that I hadn't told Damien I was friends with Alice. I looked up to see her smiling down at Damien and me.

"Hi Damien, I'm Alice." He said holding out her hand when I didn't answer her hello.

"H-hello." Damien replied taking her hand. Once they had shook hands she sat next to me.

"Bella I'm sorry if I freaked you out the other day." Alice said looking deeply troubled over the matter. I laughed trying to not sound too fake.

"Don't worry about it. I was just late that's all." I said hiding my face embarrassed. I looked over my shoulder to see something that caught me off guard. Edward was glairing, but it wasn't at me, it was at Alice.

"Ah just ignore him." Alice said when she realized where my attention had gone.

"He's just being a baby." He said looking back at him and sticking out her tongue. That did it. He looked back at he as if he was about to come over here then looked over at me and left.

"Don't I just bring out the best in guys." I said turning back to play with my pop lid. Alice tapped my shoulder.

"Oh believe me its not you at all. He's my brother, I know how to push his buttons." Alice said in a smug voice then she rose from her seat.

"Well I'm sorry we didn't get to chat longer but I just really needed to make sure you weren't angry at me for the other day." She said smiling down at me.

"No worries, no hard feelings" I said shrugging my shoulders. We said our goodbyes just as her family all got up from their table and walked by ours. Jasper came by and it was almost as if he just swept her away. She looked back and waved and Damien and I as she walked out of the café. I was suddenly aware that most of the student body was starring at me. The bell rang just in time and everyone got up and started skittering away like a bunch of confused ants.

I walked into biology with Damien at my side. I looked over at my table not expecting to have his attention, but I did. He looked at me as I walked over and took a seat. He continued looking at me for a moment, I'm guessing waiting for me to say something. So when I didn't he took it upon himself to do the introductions.

"Hello, I'm Edward. Your Bella?" he said half stating half questioning.

"Mmhm." I mumbled as I stared into his eyes. They were so beautiful they had my brain scrambled.

"I'm really sorry about Alice. She can be really pushy." He said looking away sheepishly.

"Pushy?" I asked still trying to put my brain back together. He chuckled a little then nodded.

"She was telling me about you one day and I had mentioned that you seemed nice, that I would have liked to meet you one day. I guess she jumped to conclusions or something." He said looking away shyly again, which just made my mind crumble all over again.

"What conclusion would that be?" I fumbled around making sure I got the right words out. This question made him laugh; it made my breath catch. Then he sighed and looked into my eyes.

"Who knows what goes on in that woman's head." He said smiling so happily that it touched his eyes.

"Oh." Was all I could get out. Then class was called to order and the lesson began.

Edward's POV

There was about ten minutes until class was over. I sat there thinking about how I could strike a quick conversation. If there was any way I could find out if she liked me back. I knew we couldn't speak because Mr. Banner was still lecturing. Then I had an idea, I would write her a note. Just when I had my not finished perfectly and was about to slide it over to her I saw a paper slide under my notebook.

What was with day one?

She scrawled on a sheet of paper. I was assuming she meant the day I just about killed everyone in this room, in this school, all for her blood. I didn't know what to tell her. I obviously couldn't tell her the truth. I had no idea what to say back. She must have noticed because she took the paper back and wrote again.

Your eyes look different lately. They were black then…

She had noticed that? She was pretty perceptive. People never pay us enough attention to even notice that we never eat. I knew she was still waiting for an explanation, but I didn't have one.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I wrote finally after thinking hard about all the things I wished I could tell her. I handed it to her just as the bell rang. I was out of the class before anyone even stood up as usual. I held back the need to look at her as I turned the corner and left the room. I was mad, but I wasn't mad at her, just myself. I knew I shouldn't be talking to her; it was dangerous, and stupid. She could never love me because she would never understand me, and she would never understand me because she could never know me. I can't believe I had allowed Alice to talk me into this. This was a mistake; I needed to stay away from her, for her sake if not for my sanity. I went out to my car and picked out some good angry music to listen to. I knew Bella had gym next so even though I tried very hard to listen to only my music I couldn't help but start hearing Damien or Mikes thoughts. They were doing health today in gym, blood typing? Mike and Bella were partnered together. An angry feeling started to fill me putting a pit in my stomach. I shut them out again and started listening to my music. I didn't want to feel like this. I didn't want to love her, and I didn't want her to know me, she would be afraid, she would leave. Suddenly the smell of Bella's blood was strong in my nose, even though I was nowhere near the gym. I looked out my back window to see Mike with his arm around Bella. She was peaked and staggering, she had one of her hands balled into a fist as she staggered along beside him.

"Mike just let go and let me die." Bella moaned as she lied down on the cement. That did it; I jumped out of the car and ran over to them. I had to remind my self to slow down as I approached them. I stepped behind Mike moving a little so that he was aware of my presence.

"Shit! Cullen when did you get here, fuck, you scared the crap out of me." Mike complained as his hand clenched his chest.

"What did you do?" I accused as I looked down at Bella who looked as if she was about to be sick.

"Hey, I didn't do anything! She doesn't like blood!" he defended himself. I really didn't care about the look he was giving me or anything; I just wanted to make Bella better.

"Why are you not taking her to the nurse then?" I accused again still looking at her half dead on the ground.

"I was when she went down, she wouldn't let me take her any farther. Just shut up and get…" mike 'threatened' until Bella cut him off.

"How about you both leave," she moaned into the cement.

"Yeah Cullen…" mike began again but Bella interrupted once more.

"Mike! Just leave me!" she exclaimed as loud as she could. Mike turned and walked away back to class. I didn't move and nether did Bella. I couldn't help it; I started to laugh a little.

"Ugh, your still here?" she mumbled still face down. I laughed again and kneeled down to pick her up. Once I had her off the ground she started to complain.

"Put me down," she moaned "I don't want to puke on you." She weakly tried to push away from me.

"Oh please Bella, clothes can always be washed." I said walking to the nurses' station.


	12. questions

"Oh my goodness! What happened." The nice old nurse exclaimed as she walked over to me to examine Bella.

Its one of those Cullen's, if it had been any of the other boys I would have expected it to have been their faults, but not this one, there's just something about him.

I had to stifle a laugh at her thoughts.

"Blood typing in Gym" I said putting Bella down on the little bed. I moved to the other side of the room as soon as I had put her down.

"Ok thank you, you can get back to class now." She said taking an ice pack out of the freezer.

"Oh no that's ok, I was asked to make sure to stay with her. She really didn't look well." I said turning on the charm to get my way. I could see that it had worked in both accounts. The nurse let me stay and Bella starred at me all doe eyed. Once she was feeling better she sat up and gave back the ice pack. The nurse left to put it back in the freezer so I took that opportunity to speak.

"Do you really want to go back to gym?" I whispered to her with a smile. She shook her head at the thought.

"Nurse? Is it all right if I take Bella home? I don't really want to be the one to explain to the chief why she was sick at school and not taken home." I said looking worried at the thought. She looked at me with the same expression.

"Oh definitely. As long as your father won't mind." She said looking up into my eyes. Ew talk about invasion of personal space.

"Oh no, he definitely wont mind. Come on Bella." I said pretending to help her out of the room, which she happily went along with. As soon as we were in the parking lot she let go of me and just about fell over. I put my arm around her again just in time for her to pull away.

"I'm fine." She said grabbing the car door. I opened it for her but she refused to go in.

"Look, thank you for everything but I think I'm going to walk home." She said looking at me then away. She was scared? Of what, me? Well I guess that would make sense considering what I am.

"Oh, look I'm sorry I'm scaring you, I'm really not anything to be afraid of. I just want to make sure you get home safe." I said letting go of her door. My mom always taught me to be a gentleman so not doing what I know was right was killing me. She looked into my eyes for a long moment then nodded.

"No, I'm sorry. You haven't done anything to me to deserve me acting like this." She said looking away then getting in the car. I went along into the drivers' side and started the car.

"So, would you mind talking with me for a bit?" I asked as we drove out of the parking lot. I was driving so much slower than I normally did for two reasons: one because my speed was inhuman, and second was that I wanted to prolong every second I had with her.

"Uhm. Sure." She said looking at me unsure. I smiled back at her reassuringly

"So I guess ill let you ask the first question since you must be uncomfortable right now. I find just simply asking the questions you wonder gets you the answers without all the awkward subtleties." I said laughing a little to myself. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. My breath caught and my smile faded as I looked out the windshield.

"Ok… so how about the basics?" she asked me looking out her window then into my eyes which were looking very deeply at hers. I had to be very careful about what I told her.

"Uhm, ok well. My name is Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. Carlisle and Esme Cullen adopted me with my sister Alice. She is married to Jasper and he is the twin brother of Rosalie who is married to Emmett; confusing I know. I am 17 years old and have bronze hair and topaz eyes. I love music and I am one of the more intelligent individuals in my family. My favourite colour changes by day so I don't really know what one I could say." I said trying not to sound too stupid. She looked at me as if I had actually interested her.

"My turn now I guess." She said looking uncomfortably down at her hands that were fidgeting on her lap.

"Well my name is Isabella Marie Swan. Charlie is my father and my mother and _stepfather_ live in phoenix Arizona that is where I recently lived until this happened. (She pointed at her foot that was slightly wrapped in a tenser bandage) my favourite colour also changes all the time but I think today it is brown. I'm 17 and I have people issues that are more problematic when it involves guys." She said looking out her window as if she were talking to herself.

"Why brown?" was all I had to say from that. I didn't want to comment on something that would make her uncomfortable or hate me so I stuck with the easy one. She looked at me and laughed a little, then looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry. Uhm well, its warm and safe…"she trailed off watching my every expression.

"I know, its lame." She said looking away shyly.

"No, no. Not at all." I reassured her. I couldn't help it; I didn't want her to be uncomfortable around me. I pulled into her driveway and came to a stop. I turned to look at her before she left.

"I had fun, talking with you I mean." I said awkwardly as I looked into her eyes. She smiled a little which made my heart soar.

"Yeah, I mean other than the almost needed to pay for your dry cleaning part." She said laughing lightly.

"Well thanks. Night." She said smiling then turning to open the door.

"Wait." I said getting out of the car and moving quickly to her door and opened it. I held out my hand to help her out of the car and to my pleasure she took it. She looked at me in disbelief and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged.

"My mother raised a gentleman." Was all I said as I turned from her and went back to the drivers' side. I looked up once more to return the 'good night' then got in the car and drove home.

Did it go well, I think it did, at least I saw it go well. Oh my goodness you must tell me what happened! I need to know! Edward, did you kiss her? No, I would have seen it. You have to tell me everything, right from the beginning. Did you figure out what her deal with guys is? Anything, did you learn anything?

I had to block out the ambush as I drove into the garage. Of course Alice was perched on my car waiting for me.

"Nothing happened. I drove her home. I learned her name where she lived before she moved here and that her favourite colour for the day is brown because it is safe and warm." I said as I walked past her and into the house.

"That's it? You didn't figure out what her deal is?" she asked awestruck at my ease.

"No I didn't. She asked what she wanted to know and I asked what I wanted to know. She told me that she is not good with people in general and guys are just an addition to that problem. Look Alice, all I know is that she really doesn't trust guys, and I want her to trust me. So just don't push this ok, I need to take my time, I need to build her trust and its going to be much harder than it would be with any other person." I said as I walked up the stairs and into my room. I turned on my music and went to relax on my couch again. When I was almost fully taken by my thoughts I heard footsteps approach my couch. They definitely were not human but they were too heavy for Alice who was the only one that usually came in here. I looked up to see Esme standing over me. She looked down at me with a huge smile that made her beautiful dimples glow. I stood up instantly and hugged her.

"Hi mom." I said as she embraced me back. She pulled her face from me, still holding me, so that she could see my eyes.

"Oh my boy. Its about time." She sang overjoyed. This made everything even better. Not only would I be happy with Bella, but also my whole family would be happy. Happy…


	13. PS i love you

Bella POV

Once school was out Damien was at my door in a flash. He knocked repeatedly until I answered the door then barged in like he owned the place.

"Ok so before running off with some random guy don't you think you should have told me first? I had to ask Mike! Meaning I had to speak to Mike!" she vented throwing his arms up dramatically in the air.

"Damien breath, Edward took me home because I was sick. That's all." I said walking into the kitchen to make us a snack. Damien followed wide-eyed.

"Edward as in Edward Freaking Gorgeous Cullen?" he exaggerated patting his hand against his heart. I couldn't help it I laughed.

"Sorry D, but I don't think he pitches for your team." I laughed as I grabbed some nacho chips from the cupboard. He rolled his eyes at me and continued.

"None the less, number one, you should have told me. Then I wouldn't have had to speak to Fork's number one idiot. Second did you kiss him!?" he gushed as he sat at the kitchen table. This time it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Ha. No." I said looking away awkwardly. I knew he know I liked Edward but that didn't mean I was about to say it out loud.

"Ok, well on a lighter note. I think since everyone is going to La Push tomorrow we should his Port Angeles and avoid another Mike fiasco." He said sneaking one of the nacho chips before I put them in the oven. I hit his hand and he laughed.

"I think that sounds awesome. We can hit all the little shops then go out for dinner." I said waiting a couple minutes for the cheese to melt on the nachos.

"For sure, and um I have a friend coming if that's ok. Well were going to meet up with him…" he was shy all of the sudden as the topic opened up.

"A friend, or a _friend_?" I took the nachos out and putting them on a plate. I got out some salsa and sour cream and put them in bowls.

"I met him online and I don't want to go and meet him alone just in case it's a dud." He came over and helped me carry the food into the living room. Once we were settled into the couch I turned to him.

"Sounds awesome." I said taking his hands.

"I'm so totally happy for you." I said hugging him before getting up to put on a movie. After 15 min of move selection we finally chose 'P.S. I Love You' to watch for the night.

The movie ended and Damien and me looked at each other with watery eyes. We had been sharing a tissue box between the two of us.

"Whose idea was it to watch that?" I said wiping my eyes and blowing my nose.

"That was so sad!" Damien said grabbing a tissue himself. My phone started buzzing in my pocket and Damien looked at me confused.

"Who could that be?"

"No idea. My dad would have called the house."

"Hello?" I said answering on the last ring. I still sounded a little stuffed from the tears.

"Bella? It's Edward. Are you ok?" he asked sounding worried. Oh My God! Edward Cullen was calling _me_! I covered the bottom of the phone with my hand.

"It's _Edward_!" I told Damien before uncovering the phone.

"Uhm, yeah I'm fine why do you ask?" I said trying to sound casual instead of taken totally off guard. Damien stared at me wide-eyed then started making kissy faces.

"Well you were sick today so I wanted to make sure you were feeling better. Plus you sound a little sad." He said sounding a little shy now.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Damien's with me, we were just watching a sad movie so yeah." I said trying to not sound as awkward as I felt. Damien started to silently proclaim love and that did it.

"One second, I have to beat someone." I said into the phone looking over at Damien who ran out of the room.

"So sorry about that." I said again once he was gone.

"Oh no problem. So I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow since your not hanging out with Mike." Edward asked sounding a little different, a little more nervous than his usual comfortable self.

"Oh, me and Damien just made plans to go to Port Angeles tomorrow." I said trying hide the relief in my voice that I actually had plans already. Its not like I didn't want to see him, because I definitely knew I did. I just was scared. Like really, if you cant trust your father figure who can you trust?

"Oh, ok. Well ill see you in biology. Bye." He said then hung up the phone before I could say anything. I felt so horrible; he probably thought I didn't want to see him. D walked back in the room once I had hung up.

"What was that about?"

"Edward wanted to hang out tomorrow, but I told him I was going to be with you." I started cleaning up the food and the tissues from the room before my dad would get home.

"Are you nuts! He could have come!" Damien exclaimed.

"Na, don't worry about it." I said throwing out the garbage and washing the dishes.

"I think your nuts, but I better get home. My mom will have dinner ready soon." Damien and I said our good byes then I got started on dinner before starting my homework.

Damien and I had just sat down for Lunch at our table. I noticed just today that our table was one of the closer tables to the Cullen table. I think we might actually be the only people sitting this close to the table. I looked back at the table to see 4 pairs of eyes staring back at me. Edward wasn't there. Alice was looking at me with a sweet smile. Jasper looked at me confused. (Yeah, that made sense…) Emmett looked amused and Rosalie was _glairing_ at me. (Holy shit! She scared the crap out of me!) I looked away quickly.

"Do you see her?" I asked Damien taking a sip of my coke. He looked over at Rosalie then looked back at me with the same expression.

"Ok good it wasn't just me. I haven't even spoke to that girl before." I said letting my hair fall over my face. Damien just looked at me speechless.

"Of course you would have the attention of all the Cullen's and worry only on the one that doesn't matter." Damien said rolling his eyes and taking a bite of his pizza.

"I don't see _Your _Cullen anywhere." He said craning his neck and looking around the café. He was definitely not being subtle and obviously on purpose.

"Damien. Stop." I hissed and kicked his shin. He stopped automatically and bent down to rub his leg.

"I hope you would have been referring to me." An angelic voice said from behind me. My heart skipped a beat at the same time as I wished I could Kill Damien. Damien looked up in shock. He couldn't believe he had done that either.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Damien said looking away from my annoyed glair. Then he couldn't help it; he burst out laughing.

"Ok come on seriously. What are the odds that right after I said that he would walk up." Damien chortled holding his hand out toward Edward. Edward chuckled then walked over to my side.

"Well, I was wondering if I could join you guys for lunch." He said waiting for my response to sit down or not.

"Of course!" Damien said waiving Edward to sit. Edward still hesitated, waiting for what I would say.

"Definitely." I said spinning my pop lid with my fingers. I looked up at him to encourage him to sit down. He took the seat beside me with his plate of food. Damien then made up some silly reason why he couldn't say and eat so that Edward and I could be alone. I watched after him in horror as Damien fed me to the wolves.

"Look, I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean to upset you or anything." I said trying to clear the air. That was the only reason I could think of that would end with him and I sitting here.

"Oh not to worry, I wasn't upset, I had found out my sister was listening to my conversation." He said shrugging his shoulders and pushed around the food on his plate with his fork. None of them ever ate lunch or were ever seen snacking on a chocolate bar or chips. But that wasn't the only weird thing about them. Here were the facts: They all looked identical (Pale, Sleepless, Painfully Gorgeous) when they weren't related, Their 'Parents' didn't look a day over 25 even if they weren't their biological parents, No one new where they lived, they didn't eat, they didn't come to school on really sunny days, and some of them act really strange (Alice always sounds like she expects what's going on, Jasper looks like he's in pain and Edward turns randomly as if someone had called his name). There was something up with them. I didn't know what, but there was something. And I didn't know if it was good or bad, I kind of got a bad feeling just by looking at the distance that everyone gave them, however here I was sitting across from Edward Cullen and nothing bad had happened… yet.


	14. Angel vs Devil

"Bella will you hurry up! We are going to be late again!" Damien yelled as I ran down the stairs.

"Sorry, sorry!" I said almost tripping over my laces as I swung myself around to lock the door. Damien was already back in his car giving me hand gestures to hurry up. I had been so spaced all morning that I was running late. For the past week I have had lunch with Edward Cullen every day, had dreams about him every night, and gotten a few phone calls about homework I knew he didn't actually need help with. Honestly I think I was in a permanent daze. When we finally got to the school parking lot Damien and I were both taken by surprise. There was Edward Cullen, parked beside Damien's parking space, waving at us.

"You are one lucky girl you know that?" Damien said pulling into the space.

"Ok, now don't forget we are going out again tonight!" Damien said before I got out of the car. I nodded then started to open my door, before I could blink Edward was there opening it for me.

"Uhm, thanks" I said getting out of the car and moving to stand beside Damien.

"Your welcome." Edward said walking by my side.

"May I ask what you will be doing tonight?" Edward asked looking down at me. I didn't dare look up but I could feel his intense gaze on my face.

"Uh, actually, Damien and I are going to Port Angeles again." I said looking up at him then away quickly again.

"Oh, cool. What for? If you don't mind me asking." He said trying to sound nonchalant but I saw something else in his eyes, disappointment?

"Were going to the beach with his… friend" I hesitated on the word friend making it obvious that they were more than friends. Damien suddenly stomped on my foot and looked away shyly. I couldn't help but laugh as I jumped up and down on the not injured foot.

"Ouch! Damien! Jeez" I said still laughing a little.

"Well I hope you guys have fun." Edward said with a smile.

"Well I better go find my family. Take care Bella, Damien." He said as he walked away.

The day took a lifetime to pass. Edward had left at lunch so we didn't get to talk at all for the rest of the day. Finally the bell rang and Damien and I headed out to the car.

Damien and Taylor, his _friend_, were walking along the waterfront. We had all decided to go to we had spent the evening sitting on the beach in the somewhat sun and mini golfing. Once mini golf was finished Damien and Taylor wanted to go for a walk on the beach and watch the sun set, I figured I would let D have some alone time so I made up an excuse that I needed to go to the book sore because my home library was sadly out of good books. It wasn't untrue; I just could have done it another time instead of while they wanted to go back to the beach. So now I was wandering the streets of Port Angeles looking for a bookstore. I finally found one, just a small cozy little bookstore. The owner was a white haired, eccentric old woman. She greeted me as I opened the door. I walked slowly to the back of the store to start my search for some new books. After a half hour or so I had been through half of the store and picked out three books. I had chosen _Romeo and Juliet_, _Pride and Prejudice_, and _Wuthering Heights_. They were the best books, gotta love the classics. I walked up to the woman to pay for my books. As I took out my wallet to pay for my books a title behind her caught my eye, _Vampires Over the Centuries_.

"Would I be able to take a look at that book first?" I asked the kind lady as she put my bag of books to the side.

"Of course dear." She said while turning around to reach for the book. She turned back around and handed it to me.

"Do you believe in them? Vampires I mean." She asked as I took the book from her frail hands.

"Uhm, I'm not to sure yet." I said looking down at the book that was heavy in my hands.

"Well believe it if you will, but I knew one once, met him right here in town." she said nodding with wide eyes. She had caught my attention.

"Really?" I asked intrigued. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Maybe I was a fool, but I kind of had a hunch she wasn't crazy.

"Most definitely my dear. Can remember the dolls name but he's the one that brought that book into this small store. A very good-looking fellow, tall and blond, I was just a girl when he came in, maybe your age, I was working here with my mother, she owned the store." She said gazing into the air like she was seeing everything right before her eyes. I was totally engulfed in her story.

"Wow!" was all I could say; I was so enthralled by her story.

"Do you think he is still here?" I asked her as her eyes came back from the past. She looked at me with a sheepish smile, the kind a child gives when they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"I guess I sound like an old bat huh. However I cant help but believe it was true. I'm not sure if he is still around, I mean if I was a vampire I wouldn't be choosing a place like this to spend all my time, too boring.

"Ill take this book too then." I said handing the book back to her after taking a glance at the table of contents.

"A very good choice my girl, such an informative book. Oh and I do take donations so if you ever find yourself with too many books don't be a stranger." She said handing me my bags and sending me on my way. After saying goodbye to the woman I decided to take a detour back to the beach to meet up with D and Taylor. I stopped at a stop sign when a familiar car pulled up beside me. I had to look at it twice before I realized he was really there. Shit! I turned at the street corner and started walking down a dark street; I didn't realize that it probably wasn't the best idea until I got about half way down the street. By the time I reached the end of the street I was running. I looked back but I couldn't see the car. I followed a street to a park were I took a seat under a tree and took out my new book. I quickly skipped over a couple chapters until I got to the one I was looking for, _what we look like_. As I read through the chapter a couple words stuck out to me, words like, pale, beautiful, graceful, fast, cold, bloodthirsty, and alienated. They stuck out because they all reminded me of the Cullen's. Suddenly I heard a twig snap from behind me and my mind was taken from the book. I jumped up to see what it was, as I turned around to face the creature the book fell from my fingers. It was him. Oh god! Not him! I started to back away raising my hands in front of myself in protection.

"Please." I whispered as I stumbled backward. He looked at me with the most evil eyes.

"I told you I would come for you Bella, I always keep my word do I not?" he hissed as he took a step forward toward me. "Just like how I promised you I would please you, and I did, you moaned my name like the little whore you are." He said walking towards me slightly faster now. He reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Ouch! Let go of me!" I whimpered. I couldn't find my voice.

"Oh Bella, you should have stayed with me, then none of this would have ever happened." He said pressing me against a tree.

"Phil, please, don't." I said trying to pull free of his grip. But he just held onto me tighter.

"There is no use trying Bella, I'm bigger than you." He breathed into my ear as he started kissing my neck. I loosened my muscles to make him think I was giving up. Once his grip on my arms loosened as well I took my chance. I shoved my knee in between his legs and pulled out my mace that Charlie had given me on my first day of school. I sprayed him in the eyes and ran as soon as I was free.

"Damien!" I screamed as I ran blindly into the forest behind the park.

"Taylor! Anyone!" I screamed louder and louder with my voice cracking from the panic. Suddenly I was calling a name that I didn't expect, nor did I know why.

"Edward! Oh god. Edward!" I screamed as I ran right back into the clearing of the park. Phil came from behind me and shoved me to the ground.

"You stupid fucking whore." He screamed at me. He slapped me across the face.

"What are you doing? Calling your clients? Did you replace me with some one night stands?" he screamed as he kicked me in the ribs. My chest curved around his foot in pain. Tears started streaming from my eyes, how did he find me. "Don't you love me baby? Or was I just a quick fuck for you." He whispered into my ear as he pressed himself to me. Suddenly my fear turned to anger as my adrenalin spiked.

" I don't love you, I never loved you. You raped me, I had no choice, and once I get away from you everyone will know and you will get locked up forever, then I wont have to see you ever again!" I screamed at him. I punched and kicked but he didn't move. He glared down at me with the most hateful stair. His hand went up to beat on me once more. I braced myself for impact but it never came. In that second someone grabbed his wrist and yanked him off of me. My mind scrambled as I tried to get to my feet. I had a stabbing pain in my side that made me unable to move. The world started to spin as I watched Phil try to fight of this stranger. I got up quickly and ran to where I had left my books. I curled up clutching my knees to my chest and began to sob.


	15. Adelaide

After who knows how long my tears finally ran out and I looked up from the cover of my knees. There was a man sitting across from me, far enough away that he wouldn't startle me. He was the man that saved me.

"W-where is he?" I stuttered whipping my eyes on the back of my hand. The man looked to be in pain, I wondered what damage he had received trying to save me.

"I brought him to the police. I left out names." He said looking deeply into my eyes. He looked familiar and sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. On top of my mind being in shock it was dark out and his voice was rougher than I had a feeling it should be. I couldn't help it I started to sob again. Within seconds he was at my side.

"Shh, Bella. Don't be upset, your safe now." He said soothingly. My crying stopped instantly. I knew that voice, all of the sudden the face was no longer just familiar, I knew that face, I saw it every day.

"Edward?" I asked looking up into his dark topaz eyes. Even though his face was filled with concern his eyes showed something else, anger.

"Yes." He said looking into my eyes. In that minute all the anger left his eyes and wonder took its place.

" How did you find me? Why are you here?" I asked confused. How had he known it was me being beaten by Phil. Or did he just save every damsel in distress?

"Lets get you to my car, ill take you home." He said giving his hand out for me to take. I took it slowly and he pulled me to my feet. He was cold, like ice, like a vampire.

"Can you walk? Or do you want me to carry you?" he asked holding me steady by my elbow. I bent down to pick up my books. I winced in pain as my ribs moved. He caught the slight jump the pain made me create and had me in his arms in a second. Strong, another vampire trait, and fast too, he carried me to the car and sat me in the front seat. He starred at me as he started to drive back to the main road.

"Bella are you ok?" he asked me with concern painting a mask on his face.

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be." I said looking back at him.

"Well you were just attacked and you don't seem shaken at all." He said looking at me and turning up the heat in the car a little more.

"Sadly that happens a lot to me. I've gotten used to hiding my emotions." I said looking away ashamed. Suddenly I remembered D and Taylor were waiting for me at the beach.

"Shoot I need to go back to the beach! Damien is waiting for me." I said looking toward the water quickly. Edward drove me to the beach and stopped where Damien and Taylor were waiting for me.

"Bella? What happened?" Damien shrieked when he saw me get out of the car.

"What the hell is the matter with you Edward!" he accused as he rushed to my face to assess my injuries. Taylor just looked at me with worry and at Edward with anger but uttered no words.

"Phil found me, Edward saved me." I said looking from him to Edward who was acting perfectly cool through out all the accusations made against him.

"Phil wh-" he started to ask before he clued in. his eyes bulged out of his face as he took in what I had said.

"Oh my god! Bella! Oh my god!" he said freaking out and hugging me tightly. I flinched away from him when he put too much pressure on my rib.

"Careful, he got me pretty bad." I said lifting my shirt just enough to show the bruise that was already taking over my side.

"Holy shit B! We have to get you to a doctor!" he said fussing his hands over my side and face.

"Calm down, I'm fine, I've had much, much worse." I said. He nodded remembering my stories.

"Did he…" Damien asked trailing off not wanting to say it out loud. I knew what he meant; did he rape me?

"No, Edward got there before anything could happen." Edwards face flashed a very hostel glair as I spoke then went back to a mask before I had finished.

"Oh, sorry about the accusations Edward." Damien said looking shyly up at Edward. Edward smiled back down at D.

"No problem, I knew it would look bad for me." He said putting his arm around me.

"If you don't mind Damien, I think she would feel much better about the hole situation I took her for something to eat. I will take her to see my father the second we get to town." he said looking into Damien's eyes. Damien blushed and stumbled for words.

"Uh… sure." He said finally. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek then walked back to take Taylor's hand.

"See you tomorrow B." he said winking at me then heading in the direction of his car. Edward helped me back into the car and drove to a small little restaurant on the main strip. Once he had parked the car he got out and opened the door for me. We walked up to the door and he opened it for me again.

"Hello, welcome to Adelaide, how many?" I beautiful woman asked while starring down at some papers on the welcoming stand.

"Just two." Edward said looking down at me. Her eyes jumped to his face the second he spoke. A stupid smile appeared on her lips while her eyes got all doe like. I rolled my eyes as she asked us to follow her. She brought us to the busiest part of the restaurant and offered us a table that would seat four. I went to sit down but Edward took my hand.

"Actually, I had something a little more private in mind." He said still looking down at me. He hadn't looked at her once. Disappointment showed plainly on her face as she led us toward a more secluded part of the restaurant. Once we got to our booth Edward waited for me to sit before sitting across from us. He kept his eyes on mine the whole time.

"Your waitress will be here any minute for your orders." The hostess said handing us our menus.

"Thank you, that will be all." He said to her not taking his eyes from mine for a second. She walked away disappointed as he continued to stair at me.

"You just broke her heart you know." I said looking over to the hostess positioned at the entrance of the door. He arched one perfect eyebrow and it made my heart stutter and my breath cut short.

"How so?" he asked smiling his most gorgeous crooked smile. I starred at him stupidly until I realized that he was expecting an answer as if he didn't already know.

"Do you not realize the power you have over peoples emotions?" I asked in disbelief. He looked at me as if I were crazy just as the waitress walked up to our table.

"Hello my name is Laura and I will be your waitress, what can I get you to drink?" he asked not taking her eyes off of Edward for even a second, he looked up at her slightly annoyed.

"Bella? What would you like?" he asked me making a point to the woman that he was with someone, not alone.

"Uhm, ill have a coke and… a cesar salad." I said looking from Edward's eyes momentarily at the menu.

"Two cokes and a salad." Edward said looking up at her for a moment then looking back into my eyes again. She wrote down my order then looked at him waiting.

"Nothing to eat sir? I'm sure there's something here you will like." she said standing up a little straighter. I wasn't sure about him but I definitely heard the deeper meaning in her words. I have her a quick nasty look that made him chuckle a little.

"No, I'm perfectly content thank you." He said as a final dismissal. As soon as she was out of hearing distance I burst into giggles.

'That's what I mean!" you have just broken two hearts!" I said laughing into my hands. He smiled at my amusement.

"I don't see how." He said still confused on what I meant.

"You dazzle people, make their brains melt." I said setting my hands on the table folded together. He put one of his hands over mine.

"Do I dazzle you?" he asked, his eyes blazing with a great intensity.

"Frequently." I said just as our drinks came. I took a sip then realized I was much more thirsty than I thought. Before I knew it I had gulped down the whole pop. Edward pushed his glass toward myself. I took another few gulps of the new pop before sitting back in my seat. Suddenly Edwards face became disturbed, and then he spoke.

"Who was he?" Edward asked me looking down at his hands on mine then back into my eyes.

"Phil, my step dad." I said looking away from him ashamed, I could feel tears start to puddle in my eyes but Edward was quick to brush them away before they even fell.

"He hurt you?" he asked more as a statement of observation than a question. I didn't answer for a while.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want." He said squeezing my hand in his.

"He is the reason I don't like men, with D as an acceptation because, well he isn't really a man." I said laughing a little to myself. "Phil has raped me for a very long time, and the last time was just before I moved here. He got mad when I didn't listen to him and he pushed me down the stairs. I almost died. I knew I had to get out of there before he actually succeeded." I said looking out the window the whole time. I was afraid to see his eyes. To see what judgements he would pass on me. After a few minutes of silence I looked over at him. His eyes were burning with such a hate I flinched.

"Edward?" I asked leaning toward him. He flinched back quickly, so quickly it made me jump.

"Give me a minute." He said. After a few seconds his mask returned.

"He is lucky I took him to the police." Edward said through his teeth. Anyone who saw us could tell that he was pissed, even with his mask on.

"How did you find me? Were you following me?" I asked him looking into his eyes once more. This question caught him off guard. I could see his eyes flounder for an answer.

"I needed to make sure you were safe, I was going to keep a distance but then I heard what that guy was thinking and I couldn't help it, I had to help you." He started to say more but I interrupted him.

"Wait, you heard his thoughts?" I asked blinking a couple times trying to understand what he had just said. He said nothing. I sat there replaying what he had said in my mind, yep that's definitely what he had said.

"How is that possible?" I asked looking at him wide eyed. He just starred at me for a moment then he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"I've said too much already." He said taking his hands from mine and putting them on his lap. Once I realized he wasn't going to say anymore I started to stand up.

"Well then, I guess if we are keeping secrets now ill just have you take me home." I said looking at him angrily.

"Sit Bella." He said holding his hand out to the bench I had just risen from. I looked down at him, right into his amused eyes.

"No" I said with a slight hesitation witch he picked up on. I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm. I flinched away from him in fear and he let go immediately.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave." He said looking down at me with very gorgeous eyes, once he realized through my expression that he had one he showed me another one of his crooked smiles, which made me dizzy. I stumbled back into my seat once I regained control of my body.

"I would never hurt you Bella." He said taking my hand again. Yeah right, like I hadn't heard that before. You never expect to hurt someone, it just happens.


	16. Again with the questions

Edward was driving me home. He had very skilfully avoided my questions throughout our dinner but now he wouldn't get away. We had just left Port Angeles and so far all I knew about him was that he agreed that he was not human, but refused to tell me what he was.

"So you can read minds." I stated to break the silence; I didn't phrase it as a question, that way he couldn't deny it. He kept the silence for a minute or so, just staring out the windshield. Finally he sighed and turned to look at me.

"You, my dear, are very persistent." He said looking at me, then giving one of his gorgeous crooked smiles. My lungs seized momentarily as I took in how amazing he looked. I smiled back with a little nod.

"Yep, so you might as well give up because you and I both know I won't." I said looking at him smugly. He sighed again.

"Actually I don't know; I can't hear your thoughts." He said looking back out the windshield. For a moment I thought he was just joking, but then he looked back at me with a slightly frustrated look.

"It drives me crazy; you are the only person I have never been able to hear." He said looking deep into my eyes. I don't think I was ever going to get used to the effect that he had on me. As I replayed what he had just said in my mind something in his words upset me.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked upset. Great, now I was the freak too, that's the last way I wanted him to think of me.

"Bella, I just told you I read minds and you think there's something wrong with you?" he asked humoured. He looked down at me with a smile that stretched from eye to eye; it was so dazzling.

"Oh." I said feeling stupid.

"I think I know what you are." I said teasingly even though I was sure I knew. I wanted to keep the topic light.

"Oh really," he said keeping his smile, but he took his eyes off me and put them back on the road.

"Well I know you're not human, and I kind of have a theory." I said looking out the passenger window for a moment. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Continue," he said staring at me. His expression wasn't as humoured anymore. It had more anxiety in it.

"Well, your eyes change…" I began, his expression changed to guarded the second I brought it up.

"Don't block me out! You can trust me!" I grasped. I didn't want him to block me out when I was so close to knowing what he was. His expression softened.

"Continue," he said again trying to look more content. I watched his expression for a moment then did what he said.

"Well, when they are black you are grouchy…" I said and was about to continue when he interrupted me.

"That's an understatement." He said keeping his eyes on the road.

"Like I was saying, the darker your eyes are the crabbier you are, and when they are lighter like they are now you are calmer." I said looking into his eyes. He turned to look back at me and smiled a little.

"Is that all?" he said

"I was expecting a little more than that." He said teasingly however the worried expression had returned.

"Not finished, so then after thinking about that I've decided that men are always grouchiest when they are hungry, so the darker your eyes get the hungrier you are." I said unsure of what he would think of my observations. Was I wrong? Would he laugh? His expression became one of anxiety and worry.

"You are too observant for your own good Bella." He said keeping his eyes off of me. I shook my head as he spoke.

"Edward, I know you're not human, but I don't think you are bad, no matter what you say." I said looking into his eyes trying to show him the honesty in my words. He just looked farther from me.

"Well you're wrong, very wrong, you could be dead right this second and no one would ever even expect anything other than an accident." He said with a furious look on his face. For some reason though, even though I was scared out of my mind, I didn't think it was directed toward me.

"If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already, on the day we first met." I said flinching away from the glare in my memory. His expression changed, it became pained.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you can trust me, and I'll never hurt you." He said still starring out at the road; for some reason I think he was trying to convince himself of that more than me. I didn't speak after that. We drove the rest of the 15 minutes home in silence. When he pulled into my drive way I got out and went inside, he sat starring out the windshield the whole time. Once I was in my room I pulled out the vampire book that I had just bought and opened it to the first page. It was written by a Carlisle Cullen; Wait, wasn't Carlisle the name of Edwards father? But this book was published almost a hundred years ago. I was becoming more and more aware of what Edward and his family were, and as I read the book I was convinced. Edward Cullen and his family were vampires.


	17. Never ending torment

Edward was driving me home. He had very skilfully avoided my questions throughout our dinner but now he wouldn't get away. We had just left Port Angeles and so far all I knew about him was that he agreed that he was not human, but refused to tell me what he was.

"So you can read minds." I stated to break the silence; I didn't phrase it as a question, that way he couldn't deny it. He kept the silence for a minute or so, just staring out the windshield. Finally he sighed and turned to look at me.

"You, my dear, are very persistent." He said looking at me, then giving one of his gorgeous crooked smiles. My lungs seized momentarily as I took in how amazing he looked. I smiled back with a little nod.

"Yep, so you might as well give up because you and I both know I won't." I said looking at him smugly. He sighed again.

"Actually I don't know; I can't hear your thoughts." He said looking back out the windshield. For a moment I thought he was just joking, but then he looked back at me with a slightly frustrated look.

"It drives me crazy; you are the only person I have never been able to hear." He said looking deep into my eyes. I don't think I was ever going to get used to the effect that he had on me. As I replayed what he had just said in my mind something in his words upset me.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked upset. Great, now I was the freak too, that's the last way I wanted him to think of me.

"Bella, I just told you I read minds and you think there's something wrong with you?" he asked humoured. He looked down at me with a smile that stretched from eye to eye; it was so dazzling.

"Oh." I said feeling stupid.

"I think I know what you are." I said teasingly even though I was sure I knew. I wanted to keep the topic light.

"Oh really," he said keeping his smile, but he took his eyes off me and put them back on the road.

"Well I know you're not human, and I kind of have a theory." I said looking out the passenger window for a moment. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Continue," he said staring at me. His expression wasn't as humoured anymore. It had more anxiety in it.

"Well, your eyes change…" I began, his expression changed to guarded the second I brought it up.

"Don't block me out! You can trust me!" I grasped. I didn't want him to block me out when I was so close to knowing what he was. His expression softened.

"Continue," he said again trying to look more content. I watched his expression for a moment then did what he said.

"Well, when they are black you are grouchy…" I said and was about to continue when he interrupted me.

"That's an understatement." He said keeping his eyes on the road.

"Like I was saying, the darker your eyes are the crabbier you are, and when they are lighter like they are now you are calmer." I said looking into his eyes. He turned to look back at me and smiled a little.

"Is that all?" he said

"I was expecting a little more than that." He said teasingly however the worried expression had returned.

"Not finished, so then after thinking about that I've decided that men are always grouchiest when they are hungry, so the darker your eyes get the hungrier you are." I said unsure of what he would think of my observations. Was I wrong? Would he laugh? His expression became one of anxiety and worry.

"You are too observant for your own good Bella." He said keeping his eyes off of me. I shook my head as he spoke.

"Edward, I know you're not human, but I don't think you are bad, no matter what you say." I said looking into his eyes trying to show him the honesty in my words. He just looked farther from me.

"Well you're wrong, very wrong, you could be dead right this second and no one would ever even expect anything other than an accident." He said with a furious look on his face. For some reason though, even though I was scared out of my mind, I didn't think it was directed toward me.

"If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already, on the day we first met." I said flinching away from the glare in my memory. His expression changed, it became pained.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you can trust me, and I'll never hurt you." He said still starring out at the road; for some reason I think he was trying to convince himself of that more than me. I didn't speak after that. We drove the rest of the 15 minutes home in silence. When he pulled into my drive way I got out and went inside, he sat starring out the windshield the whole time. Once I was in my room I pulled out the vampire book that I had just bought and opened it to the first page. It was written by a Carlisle Cullen; Wait, wasn't Carlisle the name of Edwards father? But this book was published almost a hundred years ago. I was becoming more and more aware of what Edward and his family were, and as I read the book I was convinced. Edward Cullen and his family were vampires.


	18. He needs to disapear

"Bella, we need to talk." Edward said as I got out of my car. I had just arrived at school and already I could tell things were not going to go smoothly today. Today I planned to confront him about what he was.

"Yeah we do." I said shutting the truck door behind me. His expression looked surprised; I guess that would make sense since I was the only person that could think of things without him hearing them.

"Then may I suggest we take this conversation else ware?" he said looking around at all the people that were within hearing rage of us. I looked around as well then finally nodded.

"Sure." I said walking away from him and into the forest across the parking lot. Once we got into a clearing I stopped.

"This probably wasn't the best idea." He said looking down towering over me. His eyes were getting shades darker right in front of my eyes, but I wouldn't get dazzled or scared by his mysterious eyes or his perfect lips as a faint whisper blew through them, almost a growl.

"If you were going to kill me you would have before I even stopped walking so give up your little façade, I'm not afraid of you." I said standing my ground and squaring my shoulders. A quick smile crossed his lips but it was quickly disguised with anger.

"Façade, you think I can't kill you? Bella I'm a monster." He yelled raising his hands into the air. I crossed my arms in front of my chest as I listened to him freak out. Once he had calmed down a little I spoke again, not quite calm myself.

"I know what you are Edward, yet here I stand." I said glairing up at him through my lashes. His breath caught in his throat; if I hadn't been paying attention that second I wouldn't have even seen it. He looked disbelieving; however I think something in my face made him question how much I knew. I held his gaze for a moment letting him know that I wasn't making any of this up; I knew exactly what he was.

"What am I?" he demanded. Suddenly the look in his eye had me stumbling for words. He noticed this and demanded again.

"Say it." When I didn't reply he moved so that he was right in my face.

"Out loud, Say it!" he spoke louder this time. I cringed away from him, the tone of voice being all too familiar. He could see the look in my eyes as I looked at him in horror. His face calmed as he waited for my answer.

"Vampire" I whispered, then my knees buckled and I rushed to the forest floor. Edwards's arms were around me in that moment; he said my name worriedly as he held me up.

"J-just got a little dizzy that's all." I said staggering away from him. He reached out for me again but I flinched away. Realization hit his face and for a minute there was pain very visible on his face, but he regained composure and created his mask once more.

"I see you have come your senses then. It's for the best." He said stepping away from me. I looked at him confused, but then I realized what he meant.

"You sounded like him." I said looking away from him and down at my fingers as I fiddled with them in front of me. Suddenly he was at my side, his eyes filled with both sadness and hate.

"Bella I am not him." He said trying to get me to look at him without touching me. I snorted at the thought.

"Yet here you are, I'm sure you wanted to talk about how we shouldn't be friends right? You don't think that hurts just as much." I said looking away from him angrily as tears started to sting my eyes. He put his finger under my chin and pulled my face back to his. He bent down so that his face was level with my own.

"I just don't want to hurt you. I care too much for you, it's not good." He said making me look into his eyes. They were lighter now, his eyes, and more sensitive, more human. It made me smile.

"What?" he asked confused by my sudden change of emotion. He looked at me curiously and cocked his eyebrow.

"You need to stop dazzling me." I said laughing a lightly. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh I dazzle you do I Miss. Swan?" he said in a formal voice that you knew was from another time. I smiled a bit at that and his breath caught ever so slightly again.

"You yourself dazzle me quite frequently." He said smiling. Then he held his arms out in an embrace shape. He did not move as he waited for my reaction. I looked into his eyes cautiously.

"Bella, your right, if I were going to kill you I would have already, yet here you are, so trust me." He said, his eyes pleading with mine.

"That's not what I'm afraid of Edward, that's never what I will be afraid of." I said walking over to him slowly and wrapping my arms around his waist. He smelled so good and felt so cold.

"Bella…" he said quietly as we held each other. I could hear the internal fighting going on in his head come out in his words.

"I did ask you to come here to tell you that I and my family are vampires. We do not kill humans though most others of our kind do; and it is not easy for us to not hunt humans so you will have to bear with me if this gets too much but…" he said cutting off suddenly. I had no idea where he was going with this.

"Bella, I don't want to stay away from you anymore. You are beautiful, mysterious, caring, amazing, and I couldn't live anymore without telling you." He said every word of his last sentence very slowly. Heat started to pulse through my body in that second. My vision went hazy and my mind was clouded. Within seconds of comprehension toward what he said I reached up and started kissing him. Suddenly he was out of my arms and at the other end of the clearing. I stumbled a bit at the loss of the one keeping my balance. I saw him flinch toward me as I lost my footing but I caught it just in time. I looked down ashamed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered; I knew he was able to hear it. After a moment he replied but I did not look up.

"I do need your patience love. All of this so new, I don't know what to do. Just give me a moment." He said pinching the bridge of his nose. I sat down on a rock and waited for him to come back to me. Within a few minutes he was at my side again. He brushed the hair that was blowing in front of my face behind my ear. Embarrassed I looked to the ground and refused to look back into his eyes.

"Bella?" he asked trying to lift my chin with his finger without forcing me. I wouldn't look up.

"Bella, Love," he said bending down so that he was level with my face.

"Please look at me." He breathed inches from my face. His sent engulfed me and my head started to spin.

"Please" he begged again trying to make our eyes meet. I finally looked up. There were traitorous tears in my eyes waiting to spill over, but I would not allow that, I would not allow weakness.

"Oh god Bella, please don't cry." He said pulling me into his lap. He rocked back and forth for a moment. I was not going to cry, but the comfort he was supplying was almost magical, it was something totally new.

"I…care about you." I whispered into his hear while he rocked me. I could feel his breath bubble as he chuckled at my awkwardness. It made me happy. Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket making me jump. I flipped it open to see I had a message from an unknown number. I opened it and it read:

"I'll find you, and when I do, no one will be able to save you. Always be watching…"

Edward must have read it because he went rigid beside me. I was getting dizzy, the world was spinning, and before I knew it I was keeled over puking. Edward was there beside me rubbing my back as I heaved in terror. Once the heaving slowed everything went black.


	19. Torture for two

"I think about you a lot, good ways and bad. I most definitely wonder what you're thinking all the time. And every time you blush, well I don't think there could be a happier… being… in the world. However when I smell your blood it makes my mouth water and my throat ache. When I saw you that first day I thought of a billion ways to massacre the whole school just for your blood. Bella, I can't stand the thought of you dead, that's why I can't feel the way I do for you, that's why I don't want you to feel the same, no matter how happy it makes me. "He cut off realizing what he had said. He had just dug his own grave and piled the dirt, because knowing he felt the same, that it made him happy, made my feelings irreversible. Suddenly I was on his lap and cm away from his face.

"Bella no!" he said and in the same second he was gone. I didn't look for him, I just sat there. At least Phil had seemed to want me; maybe he is the only one that ever would. He walked back a few minutes later and sat in front of me again.

"I'm sorry. What are you thinking about?" he asked when I didn't look up. He waited and waited.

"Please tell me" he said putting his finger under my chin and lifting my eyes to his. I was dazzled for a moment so I answered.

"You don't want to know." I said bluntly then looked away again. He waited and waited until I knew he would sit there until I told him.

"Well you asked for it. I was wondering if Phil is going to be the only person that will ever want me." I said not looking up. I was afraid of what I would see after minutes of silence I looked and regretted it. His eyes were a mix of anger, frustration, sadness, and agony. After a few more moments he spoke.

"Ah, Bella! I can't! Your smell! It's not safe for us to be like that!" he moaned, that's when I realized it, he wasn't ever mad at me, he was mad at himself. Mad for not being human, for not being able to have me, and for allowing himself to think our feelings for each other are ok.

"Well we can take it slow, like this." I said looking into his eyes as I moved. I very slowly inched closer to him then sat in his lap not moving. He looked ok though there was worry in his eyes. Then he was calm.

"Let me try something, be perfectly still." He said. When I didn't move he lowered his face to my neck and pressed his nose to my skin, smelling it. Then he put his ear against my vein to her hear it. Then he put his hand against my chest in order to feel it. We sat like that for a long time. Seeing where his hand was finally made my heart speed up. With a chuckle he pulled away.

"Silly Bella." He said looking into my eyes, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand and we just sat like that for a while.

"Um Bella, the dismissal bell is about to go off." Edward said remembering the time.

"Oh shit! Damien!" I said scrambling to my feet and running out of the forest. I ran over to his car just as the bell rang and Edward waited in his own. Damien came out to the car and when he saw me he freaked again.

"Where were you? I swear you have to stop doing that!" he said as he unlocked the car. He looked at me waiting for an explanation.

"I went for a walk with Edward." I said shyly looking away from him. I could feel him suck in breath.

"Really Bella? After all that shit you went back to the creep!" he freaked. I would bet anything that Edward was watching.

"calm down, I just took what he said wrong, it had been a tough day so I was just a little over sensitive, it's all straightened out now." I said calmly. He read that then his eyes popped out.

"OMG! He likes you doesn't he!"

"I think so"

"Do you think he, well like likes you?"

"I don't know Damien!"

"Well are you guys going out now?"

"D! I don't know! We just talked!" I said as we started pulling out of the lot, I looked back to see Edward laughing and I scowled, stupid vampire senses. Damien dropped me off at home after asking me a zillion more questions. I had just finished my homework when my phone rang. I picked up expecting Damien.

"Hey"

"Hello"

"Holy! Oh Edward, um hi, sorry I thought you were Damien." I said sheepishly. He laughed.

"Sorry to disappoint"

"Oh you're not. So what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well I was wondering if I could stop by and see you."

"Oh, um, sure."

"If it's not a good time…"

"No, no, it's ok, sorry just being human. When will you be here?" and with that the doorbell rang.

I opened the door to see Edward standing beautifully, hair all messy, water droplets dripping from his bangs. He was so perfect. I stepped aside and let him in.

"So, you don't know if I like you like you eh." He said as he took off his coat and hung it up.

"Really? That's how you want to start a conversation!" I complained as blush rushed to my face, I turned to hide it but it was too late, he could smell it. He caught my chin and pulled me back to face him.

"Don't hide from me, you have no need. I love your blush." He said, caressing my cheek with his thumb. My legs felt like spaghetti and I started to wobble.

"Sheesh you have to stop doing that!" I said looking away from him and walking into the kitchen.

"Doing what?" he asked innocently.

"Dazzling me. It can't be healthy" I said with a chuckle as I started to pull food out of the fridge for Charlie's dinner. While I was cutting veggies on the counter he came up behind me.

"I do like you" he said putting his arms around my waist. My heart started pounding loudly in my ears which made me blush because I knew he could hear it. He ran his nose from behind my ear all the way down my neck. My skin prickled and a shiver rolled up my spine. With that he was gone.

"Sorry." He mumbled from the kitchen table.

"Don't be, I wasn't cold." I said concentrating again on my cooking.

"So I have a question for you" he asked shyly. That caught my attention. I turned around to look at him, he looked very sheepish.

"Um, ok…" I said waiting for him to continue, when he didn't I walked over to him. I took his face in my hand and lifted it so I could see his eyes. His eyes met mine then closed. I slowly moved my face closer to his. Suddenly his fingers were stopping my progress.

"Bella, please be good." He moaned and I pulled away quickly then went back to my cooking. After a moment he came up behind me again.

"Not rejection, I just need time ok." He whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"So, back to my question." He whispered again. I waited.

"do you want to be my girlfriend?" he whispered then chuckled a little before ducking away saving himself from a punch to the arm.

"Why would you listen in on my conversations? That's a total invasion of privacy!" I freaked as he laughed. I started blushing like crazy remembering all he had heard and probably more.

"I was asking because it will determine how I act, if you want people to know were together then I'll be your boyfriend." He said once he stopped laughing. I thought about that for a minute.

"I do want you as a boyfriend." I said shyly. Just then we both heard a ringing from my room.

"I'll get it." And with that Edward was gone and back within seconds holding it out to me.

"How did you know where it was?" I asked as I took it from him.

"I followed the sound?" he said which settled my untrusting feelings. So I picked up. It was Damien of course so I talked with him for a while. I glanced over at Edward and he looked bothered so I mouthed what's wrong to him. He slowly came to my side and put his lips to my ear.

"Don't be mad, but I was curious one night and… well… I snuck into your bedroom." He said then ran back to the table. I dropped the phone I was holding between my shoulder and her ear. He caught it before it could smash on the floor then handed it back to me.

"Sorry D I'm going to have to call you back." I said trying to sound calm. He asked what was wrong but I reassured him that it was all ok. Once I hung up I turned away from Edward. I was so embarrassed; I talk in my sleep, my mom always laughed at me about it. Oh god, what if he heard…

"Bella, please don't be angry with me, I'm sorry" he begged but I wouldn't look at him.

"What did you hear?" I asked him allowing the annoyance to flow with the words. He sighed.

"You said my name… a few times…" he admitted. Angry tears started to fill my eyes.

"Are you crying? It's really no big deal Bella." He tried to sooth me, but it backfired.

"I'm crying because I'm angry and I'm embarrassed. How often?" I demanded to know.

"I came over every night when you were asleep. Accept for last night because I knew I had hurt you and I didn't want to see what I had done." He admitted looking down at his feet. The anger cleared and now I was just curious.

"Why?" I asked. Just then Charlie came up the drive way.

"Shoot" i ran over to the oven to get his food out and onto a plate.

"Do you want me to go?" Edward asked.

"You're my boyfriend aren't you; you might as well meet him. Go and come back?" I suggested. And with that he was gone. The front door clicked open.

"Bella?" he called. I had always wondered, who else could it be, but now I see… it could be anyone.

"Hey dad, dinners ready come eat." He came in and sat down half way through our mean I cleared my throat.

"So um, dad… I met this guy…" I began but I didn't know where to go from there.

"Mmhm…" was all Charlie said so I took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm dating Edward Cullen." I said straight to the point. Charlie's face went red.

"You are not! He is way too old for you!" Charlie boomed.

"He is not. He's a junior just like I am!" I argued.

"Oh…" he said thoughtfully.

"The one with red hair, dad you said you liked the Cullen's.

"I do, uh, I guess it's alright. When do I get to meet the guy?" he asked just trying to be polite, and just on cue the doorbell rang.

"Now?" I shrugged as I got up to answer the door. Charlie followed. I opened the door revealing again Edward dripping wet. My heart stuttered and he looked down at me with his amazing crooked smile.

"Hey Bella, good evening Mr. Swan." Edward said shaking Charlie's hand.

"Charlie." He corrected

"Yes sir" Edward said letting go of his hand.

"Well, the game is on so I guess I'll finish my dinner in there." Charlie walked into the kitchen, got his plate, and walked into the TV room. Edward and I sat at the kitchen table until I got up to do dishes and he followed.

"Why did you spy on me?" I asked as I washed my plate. He laughed.

"Oh Bella, I would hardly call it spying, I was afraid, and that was the best way to go I figured." He said looking at me carefully.

"I really am sorry; I didn't mean to upset you." He apologized looking up at me through his eyelashes. My heart stopped and he chuckled.

"I'll take that as a yes" he smiled. I leaned toward him and he stopped me again.

"Be good silly girl." He reminded me and I went back to watching dishes. Once we were done we sat and watched the game with my dad. Once that was over it was time for him to leave.

Once I said goodnight to Edward and my father I went up to bed. I got dressed for bed and snuggled under my covers. I decided to call Damien back.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I said repeatedly for hanging up on him.

"What was so important anyways?" He asked. I was silent for a moment, until I could think of something.

"Edward asked me out." I said into the phone then once I heard his understanding we both squealed.

"Details woman!" he demanded. I laughed.

"Well he asked me to be his girlfriend and then I hung up on you." I said not giving him the answer he wanted so bad.

"But what did you say! Wait, of course you said yes, it's freaking Edward Cullen!" he yelled into the phone. I laughed and took the phone from my ear. I was just about to yell at him for breaking my ear drum when I saw Edward and the foot of my bed. My eyes popped out of my head and he smirked.

"D gotta go, he's calling me." I said and hung up… again. I stared at him for a moment.

"How did you get in here?" I asked confused. He smirked and sat on the end of my bed.

"The window" he said smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back, he looked so happy. Suddenly his gaze turned intense as he looked at me.

"I want to try something again, don't move." He said moving closer to me. I didn't move and I tried to control my heart. Finally he was cm from my face and that was it, I lost my concentration and my heart started beating wildly for a second before I got control again. The sound of my heart must have done something because his eyes changed to a smouldering longing and he closed the distance. The second his lips touched mine my mind went crazy, my heart started pounding and I wrapped my arms around his neck tangling my fingers in his hair. Suddenly he went still as a rock, and then easily got himself out of my grip. He sighed and I looked down at my fingers.

"I'm stronger than I thought." He said taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled not looking up. He sighed again.

"Bella this is hard for me, were not meant to be with humans, and your blood is especially attractive to me spastically." He said trying to get me to look at him. I didn't.

"Is that why you like me?" I asked scared of the answer. He looked shocked as he lifted my face to his.

"Silly Bella, I like you because you are beautiful, and friendly, and because I can't read your mind." He said laughing at the last part. But I didn't, I was still thinking.

"Bella that drives me crazy, please tell me what you're thinking." He begged when I wouldn't look at him.

"I'm plain, ordinary, you are beautiful." I said lying down and rolling over so he couldn't see me.

"Oh Bella." He said lying down beside me and wrapping his arms around me. He giggled into my ear.

"Bella, you are so much more than beautiful, you are stunning." He whispered into my hair. I couldn't help it. I turned over and his face was right in front of mine.

"Be good." He reminded again and I was. I just looked into his eyes and wondered why I deserved him.

"Time for bed my beautiful Bella." He said kissing my eyelids then my nose and when I blushed, my cheeks.

"Gets easier every time." he said then began to hum a tune I didn't recognise. I slowly drifted to sleep but just before I did I made sure he wouldn't leave me.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I tried to begin my day. Suddenly a shape across my room made me jump. Edward was in my rocking chair.

"Sorry to startle you, come see me?" he asked holding out his arms to me. I thought about it for a minute.

"Just one minute, I need to be human." I said as I grabbed my bag to toiletries and ran into the bathroom. I took a quick shower then brushed my teeth and hair. Finally I was finished and ran back into my room to see Edward exactly as I had left him, I ran over to him and sat on his lap. I cuddled up to him then realized his clothes were different.

"Hey, you went home." I accused pinching a piece of his shirt. He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"Of course I did, the neighbours can't see me leave in the same clothes I got here in, what would they think." He said looking innocent then smiling a wide smile. I nodded and cuddled up to him again.

"How was your sleep?" he asked as he started rocking us back and forth. I was about to say fine when I realized something.

"Oh god! What did I say?" I cringed into his chest. He laughed then kissed my hair.

"You said you loved me." He whispered while he pulled me tighter to him.

"Oh no" I whined hiding my face in his shirt.

"Well do you?" he asked

"You already know that." I answered. He laughed a little, but it was more nervous.

"I like to hear it none the less." He said shyly lifting my face to his.

"I love you." He whispered looking me right in the eyes. My heart stopped at the sound of those amazing words coming from his angelic voice.

"I love you Edward" I said quietly. Then I did something bad. I closed the space between us and kissed him once then pulled away. The second I pulled away I looked into his eyes and saw the longing he had for me which threw all my control out the window. I pressed myself to him and kissed him hard and tried to stop him from taking me away by locking my arms around his neck. At first he was kissing me back but then I let my tongue lick he's amazing lips and that was it. He pulled me off of him and spun me so that I was sitting sideways on him again.

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not." I said looking into his eyes with an evil smirk.

"You're going to be the death of me Bella!" he exclaimed exhausted.

"Well breakfast time" he said beginning to lift me. I held my throat in both my hands and gasped with my eyes wide. Suddenly his eyes bulged as he realized what I was thinking.

"Oh god Bella I could never…" he began but I cut him off laughing.

"Not funny, may I clarify, breakfast time for the human." He said a little annoyed as he picked me up and carried me down stairs. I made myself toaster waffles and sat down with Edward.

"That does not look appetizing." Edward commented looking at my food. It made me curious.

"So do you not eat food because you can't or because you don't want to?" Once I had spoken he stole my fork and took a bite of my waffle.

"It's like dirt, you 'can' eat it, but it doesn't taste good and has no nutritional value." He said then handed me back my fork. While I was cleaning up after breakfast the phone rang. I dried my hands off and ran for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Well hey there Bell how you holdin up?" the strange voice asked.

"Um who is this?"

"Ahh I see, I see, you talk to too many men now days eh, well I just thought I'd let you know I'll be coming for you soon, and next time I am going to kill you…" within seconds the phone was taken from me.

"Listen Phil if I see you anywhere near Forks I won't hand you off to the cops, not again, ill finish this myself." Edward threatened. Phil just laughed.

"I aint scared of you kid, once I'm ready ill kill her, and anyone who gets in my way." He sneered. Before Edward could reply I took the phone and hung it up. How had he called me? Did he figure out where I am? All of the sudden everything went black.

"Bella?" an angel's voice called me.

"Bella, love, come on, wake up." I opened my eyes to see Edward standing over me. He took me into his arms and held me tight against him.

"Bella he won't get you. No one will let him." And I knew by no one he meant his family, his whole family.

"I don't want Charlie to know, I don't want my mom to know. If she finds out what he's done all this time…" I stopped knowing he would catch on.

"Ok Bella, anything you want."

Anything I want? Well I can't get everything I want, for seven years I have wanted him to stop, but he never did, even from behind bars he is going to find me. What I want? I want him to disappear I want him to never be found. I want to have normal life.


	20. shame

"It's been a month since the phone call, and I haven't heard from him since." I tried to explain to Damien as he cautiously drove me home. Edward was hunting today so he couldn't drive me like usual. Edward and I are doing amazingly. I hang out at his place every other day and get to know his family. I think my favourite part would have to be hanging out with them when Edward and Alice play chess. Alice sees what he is about to do and he sees what she thinks about doing, they moved only a few turns before Edward knocked over his king in defeat. However jasper and I playing was way less interesting. I was slow and awkward and every time I saw him do something that would help me I would show it by getting excited and he would change his mind. Esme was like my Renee away from Renee and Carlisle is the step father I should have had. His family didn't know about Phil, just that I was in danger.

"Bella I still don't trust this, maybe you should move back with your mom since he's here now" Damien said trying to be cautious and helpful.

"Yes go back to where he lives, where no one knows of my problem and it can happen at ANY time of the day, great idea D…" I trailed off looking out the window. I saw a blur run through the trees which could only mean one thing, Edward. My heart started racing at the thought of him waiting at home for me. Damien and I said our goodbyes and I rushed into the house. I was doing my homework in my room when I heard the door open. I went downstairs to see Edward taking off his jacket. I ran into his arms and started kissing his neck.

"Well hello to you too, I didn't think I was gone for that long." he chuckled as he picked me up and carried me to my room. He was still over cautious as always, still no sex, though I'm not sure I would want it, but there isn't really any intimacy at all, and that I do want a little. He carried me to my bed and sat down with me still kissing his neck and sucking on his ear.

"Goodness Bella calm down." He laughed as he pulled away. I made a pouting face which usually got me my way but then I remembered him running.

"What took you so long?" I asked curiously. He looked at me confused.

"I just got back when I came over here my love." He explained looking at me suspiciously.

"But I saw you running, when Damien drove me home." I explained my reasoning. Suddenly his phone buzzed in his pocket and he had it in his hand within the same second.

"Alice slow down. I see. Well that would explain a lot. Ok well we will deal with that when it comes." He hung up the phone.

"What was that about?" I asked once he had hung up the phone. He looked a little stressed but then it slipped away.

"Alice has seen visitors. Our kind, it happens from time to time. They usually don't stay for long, they just pass through but if they become a problem we will talk with them, we always do." He said nonchalantly.

"Oh…"I said not sure what to say. He smiled then tried to lighten the mood.

"So I was thinking that maybe we should go out later today. It's supposed to get warm later so I was thinking maybe we could go to this clearing by my house." He said all excited.

"What about the visitor" I asked a little worried about being outside late.

"I have Alice watching them, and you, if they choose to do anything that involves you we will know." He said trying to reassure me, it worked and I agreed to go out.

I got dressed to go out and Edward drove us over to his house after I left a note for Charlie telling him where I was. Once we were at his house he grabbed a blanket and told his parents where we were going, more out of habit than need. Then we began walking.

"Edward you do remember that I have a bit of a vertigo problem right," I said trying to keep up to him, he slowed down automatically.

"Sorry love." He said sheepishly.

"I'm just excited." He said again as he took my hand. It was about a fifteen minute walk at my speed, but suddenly the trees ended and this beautiful clearing started. It was a perfect circle and had dozens of wild flowers growing around it. Edward ran ahead and put out the blanket for us. We lie down on it together and just rested for a while.

"Bella?" Edward asked with his eyes closed. He had been lying like that for a while. I had taken off his shirt and was just tracing the lines his body made. His voice caught my breath since I hadn't heard it for a while. He chuckled at my humanness.

"Mmhm" I said continuing to trace his body and his face.

"Do you ever think you would be better off, I mean with someone else? Someone who could give you want you wanted when you wanted it, who could kiss you the way they want?" he asked not opening his eyes. I was silent for a moment so his eyes opened to see the hold up.

"Oh Bella, please don't edit your thoughts, I can handle it." He begged; he hated the fact that he couldn't read my mind even though I loved it.

"I'm not, I was just thinking about my answer. No I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I love you Edward and part of that is because of the slow motion of our relationship. Any other guy would have pushed sex on me by now, with you I don't feel a pressure to be more and I like that." I said finally meeting his eyes once I was done talking. He seemed to be thinking for a moment then he jumped on me. He flipped us around so that I was under him in a matter of seconds. I giggled as he kissed my neck. He kissed from the hollow of my neck all the way up to my cheeks feeling the heat as he got closer, then up to the base of my ear.

"Only if you're good." He whispered then kissed his way across my face and to the corner of my lips. It made me laugh I tried to kiss him but he would move away too quickly which made us both laugh.

"Quit moving and kiss me" I demanded in a playing voice and so he did. We just lied together kissing and talking every once in a while, then we would kiss again. Our bodies stayed apart and my hands stayed on his chest, those were the rules to be good. Suddenly Edward was standing with his shirt on his face was blank for a moment then all of the sudden his whole family burst through the trees.

"How long" he asked pulling me over to his family with him.

"About ten minutes. They were leaving but they crossed her sent and tracked her." Alice said in a grave voice.

"Shit, why her." Edward swore under his breath.

"Why is that so bad?" I asked confused. They all looked at me as if I were stupid.

"They're hunting you Bella." Edward said in a monotone voice.

"They… He?... chose your scent in town meaning you probably smell as good to him as you do to me." He said again very monotone. Now I was scared. There wasn't another vampire that had a human smell as good to them as me, none of them that were alive that is. This vampire would do anything for my blood, like massacring a school, I remembered. I shuddered as realization struck and Edward held me tight; there was no point in running they would just keep hunting. We stood there and waited. I hid behind Edward so that I was at least out of sight. Maybe they would think the Cullen's had killed me, if they don't get too close. Everyone started turning in the same direction as Alice, and once I saw her face I knew why, she was having a vision, they were here. Through the trees on the far side of the clearing two vampires emerged. A man and a woman, they stopped approaching about half way through the clearing, leaving space since they were greatly outnumbered. Carlisle stepped forward to address them.

"Welcome to our home visitors."

"Home?" the female asked. She seemed shocked by the term.

"We hold a permanent residence close to here; we would appreciate it if you stay inconspicuous on our behalf." He said pleasantly.

"Of course, we were just leaving when my friend here smelled a most delicious treat; however we seem to have come too late. Curious though, there is no mess nor body yet the blood is strong." She said craning her neck to see. The man did not move a muscle since they arrived. He looked uncaring at Edward, the odd thing was, he never took his eyes off of him.

"_If you want him to live you will find a way out."_ Said a voice in my head, I recognised the voice but I couldn't figure out where from.

"_Find somewhere you can be alone, if you don't he dies, at least this way only you die." _ I thought about this while they talked then suddenly the wind blew from behind me sending my scent right into their faces. Both their heads flicked to Edward. That's when I realized it wasn't Edward the male was staring at.

"Ah, you do have a snack." The woman hissed as they both slid into a crouch.

"Ah miss, I wouldn't recommend you do that. There are five of us and two of you. Even if you do damage you will not survive." Carlisle warned as Edward mirrored their crouch leaving me in their sight. That was the first time I had gotten a glimpse of the visitors. The woman was a complete stranger; the man however was very familiar. They both seemed to consider Carlisle's words then they both straightened again the man didn't take his eyes off of me. They both began to retreat and finally they were gone. After a couple minutes Edward slid back out of his crouch showing the coast was clear.

"They are going to try and get to her" Edward told everyone.

"Alice, jasper, you both will stay at the house and look after Bella, the rest of us are going to do rounds." Edward said while picking me up. Once I was in his arms everyone was gone.

"I'm going to run, Bella close your eyes" he warned then began to run. We were back at his house within minutes. Jasper had the TV on and Alice was sitting on the couch trying to watch for their next plan. Meanwhile I sat in Edwards's room trying to figure out where I could go. They were out doing rounds so one of them is bound to be near the house so unless I go back the way I came they are going to smell me. Ok so I would have to go back to the clearing, but how? How would I get away from my babysitters, and how would I get there, I guess I didn't have to get there just away from here. I snuck out of Edwards's room and onto his balcony. All of the sudden the girl was there.

"Does anyone know?" she asked bluntly, I shook my head.

"Good." She said, and then she picked me up and started running. I didn't know where I was by the time I opened my eyes. I was at a building, a hotel? Yeah I was in front of a hotel; one of those ones that are more like cabins because they aren't connected. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to one of the buildings. Once we were inside she gave me a glass of water.

"You look like your about to be sick, drink this." She spat then walked out of the room to talk on the phone. I drank the water; the run had made me very thirsty. After a few minutes the front door opened and the man walked in. the woman sat in the chair beside the bed while he took off his jacket and shoes, he went over to her and kissed her passionately.

"My love, this won't be long." He whispered in her ear then turned to me.

"Remember me yet, I've changed a lot. Haven't I Bell?" the man sneered. Bell… who called me that? For some reason my mind couldn't think straight. I hated that name, why did I hate it? Then it clicked, because the only person that ever called me bell was…

"P-Phil" I stuttered as I realized that was happening.

"No!" I yelled then jumped up only to hit the floor. My legs weren't working, my head felt heavy and I couldn't see very well. Everything felt so trippy, oh shit.

"What did you do to me?" I slurred as I tried to make the words come out.

"Well you see I don't really want much of a fight this time since well, it would be too easy since you can't hurt me and all. So I figured I'd fight someone worth my time. See I'm going to have sex with you then let Edward watch. Right my love?" he looked over to the girl and she pulled out a cell phone.

"See by the time he gets here you will be dead and he will have nothing to do but fight me." He smirked at his plan. What he didn't think through was that obviously Edwards's family would come too. He would fight, but he wouldn't win not against all of them. He lifted me up off the ground and threw me onto the bed. I heard a loud crack but I didn't know where it came from. He ripped my clothes off with one swipe of his hands.

"Make sure you are recording this baby." He said to the woman. My eyes were so glazed over that I could barely make out shapes, I couldn't feel my body, my hands and my feet were missing. I felt my clothes get torn off and I felt him rip off my bra and underwear. I felt his naked body on mine and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Face the camera sweet heart" he said grabbing my face in his hands and making me look the other direction though I couldn't tell the difference. I tried to tell Edward to say away but it only came out a grumbled mess. Tears filled my blind eyes, then after another crack the world went black.

Edwards POV

I was in the car with Alice and Emmett. Alice was searching for Bella in their plans. Finally she saw it but she got out of it before I could read it. A few minutes later my phone went off, as I went to get it Alice took it.

"Just drive, ill track it." She said flipping it open.

"By the looks of the place they are at the motel between here and Port Angeles." Alice said looking at something on the phone. I sped up the car instantly.

"Edward if you want to help Bella, don't read my thoughts." She said solemnly as she watched the phone.

"Drive faster Edward! We're running out of time!" she rushed as I pressed the gas again.

"For Bella's sake Edward, let Emmett and I go in first. Please just trust me" she said with a very grave voice.

"But I have to…" I began to say but she cut me off.

"No Edward, I'll take care of her and Emmett will get them out so you can finish them. I'm calling Carlisle to meet us there." She said rushed then she pulled out her phone and called Carlisle.

"Carlisle, meet us at the motel on 58. Yes you will need all of that. I can't tell you, just bring trauma equipment. Oh hell Carlisle, hurry!" she said still watching my phone. I started to worry even more.

"Alice please." I begged her; all these secrets had to mean something very bad.

"Edward if you don't listen to me she might die alright!" Alice yelled and that had my mouth shut. We pulled into the motel parking lot and Emmett jumped out of the car.

"Not yet." Alice hissed. Once Carlisle was there they all went in, the whole family, accept for Edward. Within seconds the woman's head rolled out of the building. Then the male was dragged through the door by Emmett and jasper.

"Alice says take a good look before you kill him." Emmett said as he held the man in front of me. It was dark now and suddenly I could see it. The familiarities from his human life, Phil. Rage ripped through me as I realized what I had let happen.

"What did you do to her!" I rawred inches from his face, he laughed.

"Stupid bitch had it coming, there's a price to being a little slut." He sneered looking up at Edward in disgust.

"Daddy won't be able to save her; I banged her up good, literally." He whispered. Then I realized what Alice was watching, why I couldn't read her mind, why Carlisle needed the trauma kit. I roared so loud that all three of the men in front of me jumped and with that Phil was dead. Emmett and jasper stayed outside as I ran to the door. Esme stopped me.

"Baby, I don't think you want to be in here." She warned, putting her hand where my dead heart was throbbing.

"I can't leave her, not like that." I said. If I was still able to cry I would have. I moved her arm off my chest and walked passed her. There was blood staining just about the whole bed. The headboard had blood smudged against it that dripped down to the sheets, then I noticed something on the floor, it was her clothes, torn and thrown all over the floor. Alice had wanted me to wait so that she could cover Bella up, So that I wouldn't be able to see her that way. That's when I looked at her. Her eyes were open but glazed over. There was a sheen of sweat on her face and she was pail, a sickly pail.

"Carlisle." I moaned standing behind them.

"She is alive, but just barely. She was drugged but they gave her too much, I'm trying to clear it out while I do this." He said stitching up the top of her head. I was over at her side in a second.

"Bella, oh god Bella, please." I sobbed over her. I could hear her hart trying to beat regularly.

"Bella, please, please Bella!" I begged holding her hand in mine. It didn't feel as warm as it should; she had lost a lot of blood.

"Ok let's get her to the hospital." Carlisle said pulling out his phone and calling for an ambulance.

"Carlisle people can't know she was drugged." I whimpered while I held her hand tight.

"She needed stitches in her head and has a broken pelvis. We will say it was a car accident. And she is 16 so her dad doesn't have to know she was drugged." Carlisle said walking out of the room.

"Alice did he…" she knew where I was getting at.

"That's why I was watching, we got there before he could finish Emmett pulled him right off of her." She said patting my shoulders.

"Is she going to be… will she have…?" I asked, again she knew what I meant.

"Well I don't see her having kids… but I do see her with you, not that I want to, so take from that what you will." She said then left me alone with her. Carlisle had given her drugs to detox her so she started to move her hand a little when I would squeeze it so I started talking again.

"Bella love, can you hear me? Oh god, please wake up" I begged beginning to sob again. Her eyes were closed now and I could see them moving meaning she was thinking. Another sob broke out, this time in happiness.

"Bella! Bella, can you hear me?" I begged and cried. Her lips moved like they were trying to speak.

"Bella I love you! Please Bella! I love you so much!" I sobbed leaning over her broken body. I felt her hand squeeze mine and I looked up. She was looking at me, her eyes were half closed but she was looking at me.

"I love you too." She whispered. Then her eyes closed again.


	21. waiting

"Bella I love you! Please Bella! I love you so much!" the angel in my head sobbed. The voice was so soothing, like a lullaby. I could feel myself drifting back and forth between nothing. Suddenly as I became more conscious I recognized the voice. It was him, my Edward, he had saved me.

"I love you too." I breathed as I got pulled back into the dark. It felt odd, dying that is. I felt so relaxed and at peace yet I didn't like it, I didn't want to go. There was a constant pull to relax and embrace the darkness but then I would think of Edward and fight to survive. Finally after who knows how long it wasn't dark anymore, I could see light. I could hear things, I could feel things. I could feel my throat I could feel the muscles contract as I swallowed.

"Why isn't she awake?" I heard someone say angrily.

"She has to heal on her own time." a male voice said.

"But you said…" the first voice began but was cut off.

"If you would just be quiet and pay attention to her maybe you would get your wish." A frustrated woman's voice scolded. That's when I remembered the people belonging to the voices: Carlisle, Alice, and Edward. Thinking of him was such a relief, hearing his voice, it made me want to scream with joy.

"Edward" I moaned in my attempt to scream for joy. Suddenly there was a rush of air on my face and I could feel him holding my hand.

"Oh Bella, you had me so worried." He whispered into my hear making me shiver. I could see light but I couldn't see him which made me begin to panic.

"I can't see you." I began to cry at the thought of never seeing his face again. The tragedy of the reality was overwhelming. Suddenly through my ragged breathing I heard a chuckle.

"Silly girl, Bella open your eyes." He laughed and touched my cheek. I concentrated on the muscles behind my eyes and tried to focus. I couldn't make them open.

"Edward…" I said beginning to panic.

"Just relax Bella, you're holding them shut." Carlisle said soothingly on the other side of me. He lightly touched my eyelids and I began to relax the muscles. My eyes started to flutter open as I relaxed. I realized that in my attempts to open them I was really just closing them tighter. Finally I could see him, my guardian angel. He smiled at me, his beautiful crooked smile. Suddenly an erratic beeping filled the room and everyone begun to laugh.

"Edward you may have to leave if you are going to over work her heart so much." Carlisle chuckled as he walked over to Edward's side and touched his shoulder. He got up from my side and I began to panic.

"Carlisle just has to be a doctor for a minute Bella calm down." Edward said taking a step away from me. I didn't take his eyes off of him as Carlisle took his place. I just stared at Edward, memorizing his face, it felt like forever since I had seen it last.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"What?" I replied shaking my head and looking at him, that made Edward laugh.

"Bella I asked you what you remember." Carlisle repeated, strange, I hadn't heard him ask anything.

"I remember going into Edward's room and a woman being there, she took me and brought me to…" my mind shut off. I turned my face in shame and closed my eyes. I didn't want to be here, this was humiliating. I began to turn my body away as well when suddenly an intense pain shot through my body making me gasp. Edward was in front of me in seconds.

"Don't move too much my love." He said. I didn't open my eyes; I didn't want him to see me. I didn't want anyone to see me, not ever again.

"Bella why did you go to the woman?" Carlisle asked another question but I didn't answer I didn't want to remember.

"Bella, this is important." He repeated.

"I could hear his voice in my head, in the clearing; I didn't know who he was. He said either I died or Edward died. That it was my choice and that if I wanted Edward to live I would find a way to get away from you guys. So I did…" I said still not opening my eyes, I could feel the tears running down my face but I didn't care to stop them this time. Phil had finally done it, he had broken me. I squeezed my eyes tighter as floods of memories of our nights together filled my mind.

"Shhh Bella, don't cry it's over now." Edward whispered again. I could feel his breath on my face but even that wasn't enough to take me out of the trance.

"Edward, I need to talk to you." I heard Alice say from the other side of the room. I heard him stand but didn't open my eyes, didn't move, I just stayed there watching my past.

Edward POV

"Be quick." I said as I walked out of the room. I looked back at Bella, broken and in pain.

"There is something wrong; her future is all messed up. Every time I look all I see is her screaming in her sleep or just sitting in her room, I don't see her doing anything or talking to anyone, I don't even see her at school." Alice said worriedly.

"I know; she's shutting down." I said exhausted, I had been here for the past month Bella had been in Acoma, I didn't leave her side, not once.

"What are we going to do? It's like she doesn't feel anything." Alice said looking into the room where Bella was in bed.

"We can't do anything, we can just be there for her, and we just have to take care of her." I said following her gaze into the room. I walked back into the room and took Bella's face in my hands.

"Bella, please look at me." I begged putting my face in front of hers, we were alone now. I waited but she didn't reply, she just shook her head and tried to pull away but I didn't let her.

"My love, I've been looking at your eyelids for a month now, please let me see your eyes" I begged. Fresh tears flowed from her eyes.

"A month?" she cried, "I was gone for a month?"

"Your head got cracked pretty well; your body needed the time and energy to heal, so you went into Acoma." I said trying to keep my voice steady but I failed. At least it made her eyes open but only for a moment, she closed them again right after. I sighed.

"When can I go home?" she asked after a few moments.

"In a day or so, you had a broken pelvis but it…" I began but she cut me off.

"I'm no good for you Edward." She said after taking a moment of relaxing breaths.

"Don't be silly Bella, there is nothing wrong with you." I said trying to change her mind, I didn't want to lose her, not when I just got her back.

"Listen Edward…" she began but I cut her off.

"No, Bella, you listen, I have just gotten you back, and I am not giving up on you. If anything I am not good for you, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been in that damn field, it's my entire fault." I began to sob at the memory. Her eyes shot open then, this sound of my voice was never something she had heard.

"Edward?" she asked, this time it was my turn to look away. She pulled herself into a sitting position and reached for my face. I put my cheek in her palm but left my eyes closed.

"Don't cry." She said caressing my face with her thumb; it was the most soothing feeling in the world.

"Bella, I thought I had lost you, it was horrible, and to know it was my fault…" I began again but she put her fingers over my lips. I opened my eyes to look at her, I never showed this side of myself to anyone, but she needed to see it, she needed to know how much I loved her.

"I'm sorry. I should have never left you." She said looking into my eyes finally.

"I should have never had you in that field." I replied and to my surprise she smiled.

"Don't be, I enjoyed most of it." She said smiling at me. This was perfect, she was broken, but I would fix her, I would show her she could love me. I smiled back at her.

"I think I have a way you could get out of the hospital today." I said enthusiastically knowing she would jump on the opportunity.

Bella's POV

Edward left to talk to Carlisle about getting me out of the hospital. While he was gone I had a nurse come in and help me to the bathroom. I was allowed to stand but that was going to take some time. I stood the first time and nearly fell over. I legs were asleep. I let them dangle over the bed for a while then the nurse helped me stand again. I walked over to the bathroom pain free. When I returned from the bathroom Edward was back. He watched me walk back to the bed and sit down.

"I'm glad to see you can walk ok." He said smiling and helping me adjust myself. I smiled at him.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked once we were all settled.

"Carlisle called Charlie and asked if it would be ok if you stayed at my house instead of the hospital, that way he could still give you medical attention but in somewhere that was more comfortable for you. Charlie didn't like it at first but Carlisle is pretty persuasive. So if you would like you are welcome to come home with me." He said holding my hand in his. I smiled at him and nodded.

"I like that idea" I said looking into his beautiful green eyes. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, it was Damien.

"B! Oh My God! I was so fucking worried!" he ran into the room and gave me a big hug.

"Charlie told me you were awake and I came straight over! Look what I brought you!" he chimed pulling a stuffed bear out from behind his back. It had a bandage on its head and a get well tee-shirt on.

"Awe it's so cute!" I said taking it from him.

"I love it" I said looking up at him with tears in my eyes. He sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand.

"I can't believe that bastard came back, Bella I'm so so sorry this happened." He said rubbing the top of my hand, I had really missed Damien.

"He's gone now, how have you been?" I asked suddenly realizing that he had a bruise on his jaw.

"It's not what you think; I haven't seen my dad since our rebellious excursion. I got in a fight with Mike." He said smiling wide and proud.

"Over what?" I asked stunned.

"He was saying rude things at lunch while you were gone and Edward wasn't there to defend you so I took initiative." He said proudly. I laughed a little but then realized what he had said.

"What did mike say?" I asked. He was silent for a moment. Suddenly Edward was livid and they were both leaving, talk about confusion.


	22. honesty

Bella's POV

I woke up the next morning in the arms of the most amazing guy in the world. He was looking at the ceiling, so intensely that he didn't even notice I had woken. I must have moved a lot in my sleep if moving now wasn't alerting him. I nestled close to him but it still didn't break is trance like state. Finally I kissed his side since it was what was closest to me, he glanced down and smiled a half smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"What's the matter?" I asked sitting up a little so that i could be face to face with him. He didn't look at me right away so I waited, he would tell me, he always did. He continued to be silent, I began to worry.

"Edward?" I said my voice shaking a little. He looked down finally his eyes were sad momentarily but then they went blank, he was hiding. I waited, then hugged him and continued to wait. Finally he took a breath.

"How did you sleep?" he asked. His voice was off though, it worried me.

"I slept alright, why?" I asked looking in his empty eyes. His mood didn't change.

"Edward, honestly what's wrong?" I begged finally, I needed to know.

"I can't protect you, not when you sleep. Not from yourself" he spoke softly. I didn't know what he was talking about.

"I don't understand…" I said thinking back to my sleep, to my dreams, I couldn't remember them. He could tell by my confused expression that I didn't remember and sighed.

"You cried, you cried his name. I wanted so bad to wake you." He said tortured looking at the ceiling again. I sighed and put my head on his chest, listening to him breath, in silence. I kissed him after a few minutes then sat back up and took his face in my hands.

"I am beside you, it's the safest place I could be, the only place I want to be. I can't help what I dream but I can help what I wake up to. I want this to go away and it will only do that if you can move on too." I said looking deep into his eyes, the sadness came back momentarily. I kissed his lips hard, pulling him close. For a while he kissed me back but as usual he pulled away first.

"Be good" he smiled as he moved away. He held me close for a long while, just looking into my eyes.

"I love you." I whispered, I saw a flicker of warmth in his eyes and suddenly they changed, they were no longer guarded or sad, they were happy and content. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too my Bella" he said hugging me to him again; it made me laugh as I hugged him back.

"So about last night…" I began.

"Yes about that, that wasn't very good." He mused. I looked down shyly but he lifted my face to his again.

"I want to see your eyes." He said soothingly as he gazed at me making me blush, he stroked my cheek then kissed me gently.

"I'm sorry." I whispered once we separated. He shook his head slightly and smiled.

"Don't be my love, I enjoyed it, I just don't want to hurt you." He whispered back kissing me again. I laughed under his kisses at his sudden excitement. I reached down to touch him to find he was already… interested. The discovery made me giggle.

"Don't laugh I can't make it stop!" he cried quietly making me laugh even harder.

"Every time I think about it, it keeps coming back!" he said looking under the covers then at my hand, then my face. A low growl escaped his lips as I touched him, then he suddenly was on top of me kissing my neck.

"Again already my love?" he joked. I nodded this time taking it a step farther once he was close enough I removed my hand and pressed myself to him. I wrapped my legs around him and began to move my body against his. A moan escaped his lips but he did not move with me; he did not move at all. I stopped and looked up at him, his eyes were burning, smoldering with lust and need. His jaw was locked and he was looking at the pillow beside my head. I waited until he calmed down. I knew he wouldn't leave, he wouldn't risk the feeling of rejection, was that fair? Finally he took a breath again and his jaw loosened.

"Sorry" I whispered and pulled his head against my chest. He rested like that for a while before he spoke.

"I can't control myself when I am like that." He said, listening to my heart, it always helped him calm down.

"I don't need more, I just need you." I whispered and kissed his hair. I could feel his smile grow against my skin, it made me feel good. We stayed like that for a long while, just enjoying being with each other.

"I want to be more though" he said after a long time of silence. If I hadn't known better I could have thought he was asleep. I took a moment to think about what he had said. I knew what he meant, because I wanted it too, I wanted to be able to connect with him, lose myself around him, and disappear with him. I wanted to replace my memories of my past with my memories of now, I wanted love to mean love, not for it to mean power and control, but that couldn't be with me and Edward; never. But I couldn't tell him all that, he would leave, think that I could have that with someone else that someone else could give that to me. But even though I couldn't have that one part with him, I would still prefer what I do have with him above anything else. Out of all the thoughts on the topic that came to mind, none of them would comfort my Edward, none would put his heart at ease. So instead of words I chose an action for my reply. I slid down underneath him until my cheek was on his chest, I listened and heard nothing, yet the love his heart swelled with was better than any other man's. I kissed where his silent heart yearned for me, once, twice, three times. I could feel him inhale as I did so, this answer pleased him. I went back to face him and kissed his cheek.

"What you are makes you cold, hard, and without a heartbeat" I said watching his expression, I could see torment flicker in his eyes but he knew there was more i didn't stay. "but the sight of you in the sun, is the closest thing to anything divine that anyone could witness, the sound of your laugh, would make the angels green with envy, and your heart, though it has no beat, holds more compassion and love than any man could ever dream to give." I paused to look at his eyes again, they were sad looking, I could see his face change but he would fix it before I could tell what it was. "Edward, all of these things make you who you are, yes you are dangerous, made to hunt, and made to kill, but no one on this earth was made to love the way you do, that defines you more than what you are" I finished, looking away and pulling him into a hug. He hugged me back tightly but gentle. I looked up at him and his face was not one I knew, he was sad, crying without tears. I could feel his lungs lurching in a very human way, as if he needed more air, as if he needed air at all, he was so much more human than he knew. Once he saw that I was looking at him though he composed himself, within a second his face was guarded again, and then I could see confusion in his eyes, I waited.

"Bella, never in my wildest fantasies, could I have imagined that I would find someone as perfect for me as you. Thank you so much for saying that, it is good to know how you feel about me." And he began to kiss me again, soft and loving.


End file.
